I'm Feeling Less Anxious About COVID-19 Now, But Nothing Seems Logical Anymore

A year ago, when our school district shifted to a hybrid learning model, my family chose to stick with full-time remote education. Fast forward to now, with COVID-19 cases in our county nearly double what they were last year, I found myself sending my kids back to school in person without much hesitation.

It’s perplexing, isn’t it? We possess more knowledge than we did a year ago, and one of my children is vaccinated. My younger son will be getting the vaccine soon (fingers crossed). We’ve learned that the risk of transmission in schools is relatively low when safety measures, like universal masking, are implemented. Plus, 75% of my family is vaccinated. Yet, despite this information, the logic behind my decisions feels off.

Last year, when cases were lower, I was cautious about letting my unvaccinated kids play with friends, and we avoided dining out altogether. Now, we do all those things without a second thought. It doesn’t add up.

Sure, we’re vaccinated, and so are our friends—well, at least I think so. But what about the kids under 12 who are still waiting for their shots? It’s a confusing situation.

While we understand more about safety now, much of our decision-making seems driven by pandemic fatigue and instinct rather than strict logic. I’m exhausted and find it hard to make rational choices anymore. After experiencing a bit of normalcy this summer, the Delta variant and the high number of unvaccinated individuals have shut that door. Reverting back to our earlier pandemic standards feels impossible.

We’re left navigating an emotional and illogical landscape, filled with confusion and uncertainty. As Jessica Grose aptly put it in the New York Times, “Should we let our kid go to a playdate with a new friend? Let me just check the case rate in this ZIP code and multiply it by the number of pediatric hospitalizations, then subtract the loss of joy and normal socialization my child will undergo by missing out on yet another typical childhood experience.”

I completely relate to the struggle of weighing every decision. One of my kids wants to go mini-golfing with friends today, which sounds safe—outdoors and vaccinated friends. But then I worry about the staff and other patrons. Are they vaccinated? Who knows? I could suggest wearing masks, but we all know how that would go once they’re out of sight.

My husband and I have established some guidelines, but my responses to daily COVID-related decisions often depend on my mood and intuition. It’s not a logical process.

Interestingly, while I spent much of the past year anxious, I now feel surprisingly less so. I can’t say I’m calm, but my anxiety has diminished, even though case counts are higher. Grose noted a similar feeling of numbness, filled with overwhelming statistics and confusing choices that leave us feeling emotionally drained.

It seems many of us are grappling with cognitive and emotional disarray. Our internal systems are malfunctioning, leading some to overestimate risks while others become paralyzed by “psychic numbing.”

At times, it feels like we’re on a roller coaster, unsure of our safety yet believing we’re adequately strapped in. It’s chaotic and unsettling.

To regain some control, experts recommend seeking advice from trusted sources and using our values to guide decisions. While this is useful, it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this state of confusion.

We are currently in the “none of this makes sense” phase of the pandemic. Just as we navigated the “we’re in this together” stage in early days, this too shall pass. I may not trust my decision-making now, but I believe it will improve eventually. In the meantime, I’ll lean on trusted experts and my instincts.

For those interested in similar topics, check out this insightful post on Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, for more information on artificial insemination methods, Make a Mom is a great resource, and you can also visit American Pregnancy for further reading.

Summary

As we navigate the complexities of the COVID-19 pandemic, many parents feel confused and emotionally drained. With increased case counts, decision-making has become less logical, often driven by fatigue and instinct rather than clear reasoning. While some feel less anxious now compared to last year, the uncertainty remains, and finding a sense of control is challenging. Experts suggest relying on trusted information and our values to guide choices, but the feeling of disarray is widespread.