In our advice segment, we tackle your pressing questions about relationships, parenting, and the challenges that come with them. This week, we address a concern about a friend who may be using her children for social media fame.
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
I’ve been friends with “Lisa” for over ten years. Our children are of similar ages, and we live nearby. Just before the pandemic, Lisa lost her job. She started sharing content on TikTok during the lockdown, initially as a way to express herself and connect with others in similar situations. I enjoy TikTok too, so I didn’t think much of it at first. However, it seems like she’s turned her TikTok account into a job. While her follower count isn’t huge, it’s definitely noticeable. The issue is that she’s constantly posting. I frequently see her videos on my feed, and they’re all about her kids’ daily lives—tantrums, potty training, eating, and even sick days. Sometimes it feels very staged; I’ve even seen her ask the kids to redo a video to get the perfect shot. I’m worried about saying something, though, as it could jeopardize our friendship.
Yikes, a “redo” sounds pretty questionable.
This is one of the downsides of family-oriented TikTok accounts. Children, who are often minors, are featured in the content their parents create and shared with a vast audience. Even if it appears harmless, kids lack a say in these matters. If Lisa is indeed exploiting her children for attention, that’s concerning.
We’ve seen a rise in stories from adults who were featured in their parents’ blogs and now express regret over it. The younger generations, like Gen Z, have grown up in a world dominated by social media. Just because they are accustomed to sharing their lives online doesn’t mean it’s okay for their childhoods to be treated like a reality show.
Moments of vulnerability, such as tantrums and potty training, are private and should be respected. While it’s nice to hear others say, “That happens in my house, too,” the validation from strangers comes at the expense of the children’s privacy.
If you feel compelled to speak up, approach the topic delicately. Since she’s sharing this content in your presence, it’s reasonable to express your concern. You might say something like, “Does little Timmy enjoy being filmed all the time?” or “It looks like Sarah just wants to play; maybe save the filming for later?” While this might not be subtle, it conveys your concern without coming off as judgmental. You care about your friend and her kids, and that’s totally valid. If you think Lisa might need a wake-up call, consider sharing articles like this one or this reaction to a similar issue from our other blog post.
Keep in mind, Lisa’s children won’t stay little forever. They will grow up and likely have opinions about their lives being shared with countless strangers. While it’s not wrong for Lisa to have social media accounts that include her kids, there’s a balance to strike that avoids exploitation. If she’s passionate about content creation, there are alternative ways to pursue this without compromising her children’s privacy.
It’s commendable that you’re looking out for her kids. People often overlook the broader implications behind those quick 60-second glimpses into lives.
Good luck navigating this delicate situation.
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