A few weeks ago, a seven-year-old student slumped down in despair on a patch of grass outside my classroom. They had been separated from their peers after an incident at recess where their frustration led them to throw their sweatshirt, narrowly missing another child. This was not the first time I had witnessed this child struggle; they often have emotional outbursts that disrupt our class. As I crouched in front of them, I asked, “What’s bothering you?”
“I’m a terrible person, and nobody likes me,” they exclaimed, and I was momentarily taken aback. How could a second grader already feel so defeated?
I knew that conventional pep talks might not be enough to lift this child’s spirits, but I was determined to try. “Listen, I disagree with you. You are incredible,” I said with genuine enthusiasm. The surprise on their face told me they didn’t expect such kindness at that moment. I often channel my inner Ted Lasso, bringing a brand of optimistic encouragement to the classroom that resonates with these young minds.
“You’re so considerate in class, always putting everyone’s names back on the board after they step out,” I continued sincerely. “You’re always looking to help others with their work. Right now, you’re just having a tough day, and that’s completely okay. We all face challenges. Let’s take a moment and walk back to class together.”
And that’s what we did.
In the short time I’ve known this student, I’ve come to understand that they’re not alone in their feelings. Many of the kids are struggling with self-acceptance, and I’ve had heartfelt conversations with several students this year, only to find that morale is quite low among those who are still adapting to the social and academic dynamics of school.
As I connect with these children, I often wonder what Ted Lasso would say if he could jump in and assist me. “I believe in hope. I believe in BELIEVE,” he might say, his Southern drawl echoing in my mind. “Success is not about wins and losses; it’s about helping these young people become the best versions of themselves.”
If you haven’t seen Apple TV+’s acclaimed comedy series, now is the perfect time to start. I’ve drawn immense inspiration from Ted Lasso, the character who, despite having no soccer knowledge, excels in spreading kindness. His coaching philosophy is exactly what we need in today’s world.
This particular day, as I worked with the troubled student, I felt especially grateful for the character’s journey in the second season, where he grapples with trauma. I resonate with Ted as I also experience physical symptoms linked to my own complex PTSD during stressful moments.
What’s the link between a child-friendly pep talk and a fictional character facing similar trauma? It underscores a vital message we need to share with ourselves and our children: It’s perfectly acceptable not to feel okay right now.
The truth is, the collective mental health of our nation has faced significant challenges in recent times, and our children are no exception. With the demands of COVID, remote learning, and social distancing, many kids have struggled to bond with their peers, leaving them feeling isolated and overwhelmed.
Right now, they need reassurance and an abundance of unconditional love. They need to be reminded that it’s normal to feel lost or make mistakes, and we’re all in this together with the hope that we can persevere.
So, I’ve made it my daily mission to embody Coach Lasso’s optimistic approach. I offer validation to the students who need it, break out into silly dances, and share elbow bumps and air high-fives. I strive to remember every name, tell dad jokes to lighten the mood, and remind them that making mistakes is part of growing up — even adults make them!
Because in this moment, that’s what these kids need most.
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Summary:
In this piece, I reflect on a moment with a discouraged second grader and how the lessons from Ted Lasso’s character inspire my approach to nurturing and uplifting students struggling with self-esteem. I emphasize the importance of kindness, validation, and the understanding that it’s okay not to be okay, especially in challenging times.
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