As someone who has spent the last 12 years as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) and work-at-home mom, I can honestly say that this lifestyle is tougher than I ever anticipated. Am I lucky to have this choice? Absolutely. I recognize that countless parents have no option but to juggle work outside the home and family commitments. When my first child was born, I had the privilege of choosing to stay home, and I’m thankful for that decision. My husband works long hours and often travels, so my presence at home provides our children with much-needed stability. They know they can count on a parent at any time, and that dynamic works well for us.
However, the reality of SAHM life has proven to be extraordinarily difficult—far more than I ever expected. I wasn’t ready for the profound loneliness, the isolation, or the sadness that crept in when I stepped away from my professional life. The monotony of days filled with breastfeeding, changing diapers, and cleaning sticky surfaces felt endless.
I also didn’t foresee how these feelings would strain my marriage and create a deep sense of resentment toward my husband, who got to venture into the world daily, wear fresh clothes, and enjoy spontaneous lunch breaks with colleagues. He received praise for his work, while I felt invisible. This dynamic took a toll on our relationship for a long time.
It’s crucial that we discuss the challenges of being a SAHM and acknowledge that many mothers face serious struggles. This doesn’t imply that working moms have it easy—because they certainly do not—but the SAHM experience is unique, and those in the thick of it need support, a lifeline, and the reassurance that they are not alone.
To the dad at the bus stop with five kids, using the SAHMs for childcare while you take your work calls: shame on you.
Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom
Confession #25857454: My husband works from home while I manage everything as a SAHM. I was resting on the couch when he asked, “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be cleaning?” Why do men say these things? Ugh!
Confession #25853442: I want to cry but can’t. My husband tells me to stop but doesn’t comfort me. I hold everything in, and it’s why I’ve gained weight. I feel like medication might help, but he discourages it. Just another day in the life of a SAHM, right?
Confession #25851808: After 12 years of marriage, during which we’ve had six years of kids, not once have you suggested I sleep in while you handle breakfast. It’s these little things that erode my love for you.
Confession #25851502: If you are a partner to a SAHM, you need to make her feel valued and appreciated. Encourage her to take time for herself. If she manages to leave the house alone, don’t call her!
Confession #25857592: I’m a SAHM who decided to return to school. With no daycare and no help, I’m with the baby 24/7, watching recorded lessons during naps and studying late at night with barely five hours of sleep. My husband claims he’s tired after working 3-4 hours a day.
Confession #25857522: My biggest regret as a SAHM is not planning my career after the kids grew older. One day, my husband told me that if I vanished, it wouldn’t matter financially since I don’t contribute.
Confession #25857478: I despise my job and am taking leave for the baby next week. My husband wants me to stay home, but I’m uncertain whether I’ll prefer being a working mom or a SAHM more. I’m terrified of leaving my field and not finding work again.
Confession #25852789: If I had financial independence, I could make my own choices. But as a SAHM who gave up my career, I love spending time with my kids, but now that they’re older, I feel completely dependent on my husband, who is becoming grumpier.
Many SAHMs have put their careers on hold to be home during the early years with their children. This choice can deeply affect a woman’s self-worth and mental health.
Confession #25853780: My husband is selfish in bed. He rarely attends to my needs, expecting me to meet his. I can’t cut him off, as he might just find satisfaction elsewhere, leaving me stuck with a cheater or without a place to go.
Confession #25853779: If I hadn’t fallen into the SAHM trap, I’d be financially independent and possibly living in a country that prioritizes healthcare and education for all. Now, I’m stuck, watching my kids struggle while I stay with my husband for financial reasons.
For many women, being a SAHM is extremely tough. While some thrive in this role, many of us feel overwhelmed. We gaze at the clock at 9:45 a.m., wondering how we’ll get through another day of playing with dolls, assembling puzzles, and urging little ones to use the toilet instead of the rug. Motivation to shower wanes—what’s the point? Meanwhile, we feel envious of our partners who engage with other adults while we’re home with spit-up in our hair.
If you’re a SAHM reading this, know that I see you. You are an absolute rockstar, and you’re still fabulous—spit-up and all. Don’t forget that!
For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post about navigating motherhood and self-care.
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Summary
The journey of a stay-at-home mom can be filled with unexpected challenges, from feelings of loneliness and isolation to struggles with self-worth and marital dynamics. While some women find fulfillment in this role, many feel overwhelmed and underappreciated. It’s essential to recognize these challenges and provide support to those navigating the difficult waters of motherhood.
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