We all know that one person who often requires a multitude of justifications for their actions. Phrases like, “He’s not usually like this,” or “Once you get to know him, he’s great,” might sound familiar. However, as time goes on, it becomes clear that these excuses can be excessive. Perhaps it’s time for that individual to take responsibility for their conduct.
Recently, I’ve started to feel this way about my son. I won’t sugarcoat it; at times, he can be quite challenging to be around. While he generally exhibits his usual cheerful demeanor, the past few months have presented their fair share of difficulties.
Initially, when we would visit friends and he began to act out, I’d find myself embarrassed and hastily offering excuses for his behavior, such as:
- “He missed his nap.”
- “He’s teething.”
- “He’s hungry.”
- “He’s sensitive to lights.”
- “We fed him too late. Lesson learned.”
However, I’ve reached a point where I’m ready to shift the focus. It’s clear that while a toddler’s behavior is often influenced by their environment, it’s time to stop making excuses for him. After enduring the rollercoaster of the so-called “terrible twos,” I’ve decided it’s time for him to own up to his actions. Sorry, buddy, but sometimes the issue is you, not me.
Just yesterday, while I was at a local bar with friends, my partner, Laura, arrived a bit later with our son in tow. He hadn’t met everyone at the table before, but typically, he warms up fairly quickly. Unfortunately, his current phase has him leaning into the tantrums. After a few moments of hiding in Laura’s embrace, he erupted into screams whenever anyone dared to look his way.
As a parent who has navigated these challenges, I’m done sugarcoating his behavior. Instead of offering weak explanations, I simply stated, “Don’t mind him; screaming is his default these days. He’s just being a little difficult.”
I’ve chosen to stop shielding him from the consequences of his actions. Now that he’s almost three, it’s important for him to understand that his behavior is ultimately his responsibility. He is a distinct individual making his own choices. It’s essential to recognize that not every action he takes is a reflection of my parenting. At this moment, he’s opting to be a handful, and I’m letting him face the music.
“Yes, I’m his father, but he’s his own person. If he threw the menu at you, then let him deal with it—not me.”
Adopting this new perspective feels liberating. It’s crucial to note that refraining from making excuses for my son does not equate to allowing his behavior to go unchecked. We still maintain discipline and acknowledge our role in shaping who he will become. However, the terrible twos are a universal experience for parents, whether strict or lenient. We must weather this phase together, and in the process, it’s time to hold him accountable.
He’s the one tarnishing his reputation, and if he continues down this path, he may find himself unwelcome at every social gathering in town. For more insights on parenting during challenging times, you might find this article about home insemination interesting, which you can read here. Additionally, if you’re looking for expert advice on related topics, consider visiting this resource.
In summary, it’s essential to acknowledge that a child is responsible for their own actions, and as parents, we should guide them through this learning process while also allowing them to confront the consequences of their choices.
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