I discovered I was pregnant while my partner and I were navigating the parking lot of a mall with our two-year-old and four-year-old in tow. As the realization hit me, I thought, “Wait, I’m late.” Panic set in as I did the math – my complexion likely turned pale, and I felt a whirlwind of emotions: joy, dread, anxiety, and the stark reality of being pregnant again. I managed to keep it under wraps for two days before revealing the news to my partner. His response? “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I burst into tears. At that time, he was still an adjunct professor juggling semester-by-semester classes, we had no health insurance, and now we were about to welcome another child.
This was a classic case of a Catholic ‘oops’ baby: despite our meticulous adherence to Natural Family Planning, our efforts had somehow failed. Women’s bodies can be unpredictable, after all, and sometimes, those unpredictable moments lead to the creation of a new life when you least expect it. Obviously, abortion was off the table due to our beliefs, and just like that, we were on the verge of becoming parents once more – at a time that was far from ideal.
The Assumption of Intentionality
People often don’t consider that pregnancies can be unplanned. Unless someone has explicitly stated they’re done having children, I tend to assume that any growing belly is intentional. So, when people saw an underemployed Ph.D. candidate and a writer without health insurance expecting a third child, they just assumed we had made the decision to expand our family. Many attributed our situation to our strong Catholic values.
I was furious with the situation – I didn’t want an unexpected baby; I wanted to focus on the children I already had. Given my gestational diabetes and hyperemesis, I was already struggling to parent effectively.
Naturally, we received plenty of judgment from both sides of the family. While no one directly questioned our decision, the looks we got said it all. This only fueled my frustration with the perception surrounding our ‘oops’ baby. I felt the need to protect this child, and eventually, I found myself excited about the idea of having him. After all, I was already dealing with morning sickness, insulin injections, and the usual pregnancy challenges.
My kids were thrilled about the impending arrival. By the time I was around sixteen weeks along, we were discussing names, and my four-year-old declared, “His name is Simon, and he will be born on Halloween.” I replied, “More like near Halloween.” He persisted, “His name is Simon and he’ll be born on Halloween,” and sure enough, Simon arrived on Halloween night.
Life Wouldn’t Be the Same Without Him
It may sound cliché, but life truly wouldn’t be the same without our ‘oops’ baby. Simon, who we affectionately call Sunny due to his bright demeanor, is a kind-hearted soul. He once cried at the mere idea of bullying – not because he had been bullied, but simply because it exists. When someone apologizes, he sweetly responds, “I accept your apology,” but if he’s the one apologizing, he expects the same in return.
Simon and his older brother, August, have become best friends, shattering any concerns we had about the dynamics changing with the arrival of a third child. They stay up giggling at night, build Lego structures together, and create muddy adventures in the yard. Their bond has brought a sense of normalcy, even during the challenges of the pandemic.
While I initially viewed Simon’s arrival as a stressor, he has become an irreplaceable part of our family. He’s unique, wonderful, and has given us all a new perspective on parenting. The initial shock has transformed into gratitude, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this excellent resource on IVF. Additionally, you can explore our other blog post here for insights into family planning. For those considering self-insemination, the home insemination kit is a great option.
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In summary, while our third baby came as a surprise, he has brought immeasurable joy and love into our lives. The journey from uncertainty to acceptance has been transformative, and our family wouldn’t be complete without Simon.
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