Tomorrow marks my birthday, and in celebration, I plan to indulge in behaviors that my partner, Jake, finds exasperating. As a gift to me, Jake is required to refrain from any complaints or eye-rolling during my day of delightful chaos. Here’s my agenda, which I might expand at any moment:
My Birthday Agenda
- Leave the bathroom cabinets and dresser drawers wide open, while scattering at least three pairs of sandals around the house.
- Call Jake’s office phone, then his cell, and back to his office phone again just to inquire about dinner plans. His meeting? Irrelevant! This is a pressing matter!
- Text him with a detailed list of minor, bothersome tasks he should complete. I’ll follow each message with a cheerful smiley face and some hugs and kisses.
- Go out to dinner while blasting the AC on our drive to dry my wet hair, which curls much better that way compared to using a diffuser. We might need to leave a little earlier to enjoy the ride!
- Spend a good 15 minutes at the restaurant deliberating over the menu, ultimately concocting a new dish by merging three different options.
- Treat the hostess stand as a treasure trove, stuffing my purse with free toothpicks, matchboxes, and mints. After all, they’re complimentary!
- Catch a movie, but not without a detour to the inconveniently located Dollar Store for snacks, avoiding overpriced theater concessions.
- Spend the entire film crunching on my bag of Sour Patch Kids because unlike the theater containers, my Dollar Store version comes in a noisy bag.
- Make a late-night trip to Walmart for approximately 20 items I’ve been meaning to pick up for weeks, ranging from fans to nail files. I’ll compare prices meticulously to ensure I get the best deal, whipping out coupons at checkout and paying with the coins I’ve been lugging around for too long.
- Finally, I’ll lather my feet in Vaseline, wrap them in plastic, and don wool socks as I snooze. Does it actually make them feel like a baby’s bottom? Probably not, but it’s worth a shot!
- I’ll toss and turn all night, hogging every blanket and pillow in sight.
Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate my special day, at least in my opinion. If you’re interested in more home-related topics, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit, which could provide valuable insights into family planning. For those exploring fertility options, the intracervical insemination syringe kit is also worth a look. Additionally, you can find excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination at the UCSF Center.
In summary, embracing quirky habits on my birthday while my partner remains dutifully silent is my way of celebrating. It’s all in good fun, and who wouldn’t enjoy a day dedicated to annoying their loved ones?
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