With Halloween behind us, it’s that time of year again when families start planning their holiday celebrations, kicking off with Thanksgiving. Pre-pandemic, our family disputes revolved around hosting duties, debating who deserved the honor or what was most convenient given the circumstances.
Last year, however, the conversation was straightforward. With no vaccine available, everyone opted for small, individual Thanksgiving dinners. This year, we find ourselves in a muddled scenario. While vaccines are now available, not all family members have chosen to get vaccinated, and we have young children who still can’t receive full protection. Moreover, evidence shows that vaccinated individuals can still contract COVID, even if the risk of severe illness is lower.
I’m taking a logical approach, advocating for adherence to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control guidelines. It may sound extreme, but I trust the experts. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one in my family—comprising my partner, our kids, my parents, siblings, and my in-laws—who supports these recommendations. Within our group, there are some unvaccinated adults, others who are vaccinated but have high-risk health conditions, and a few children who are not yet fully vaccinated.
All of us live in areas classified as “high transmission” zones. According to the CDC, if multiple households gather indoors—around five in our case—everyone should wear masks, or we should consider gathering outdoors. However, this poses challenges in colder climates.
I proposed renting patio heaters to allow us to eat outside while asking everyone to wear masks indoors. This suggestion was met with either outright rejection or total silence from the family. Some older members, feeling they have little to lose, are eager to gather regardless of guidelines. Others express distrust towards the CDC, and some who claim to follow the science counter it with unfounded statements like, “none of us have gotten it yet, so we’ll be fine,” or dismiss the CDC’s high transmission labels, insisting “our families are different because we take precautions.” Many are simply fatigued by the ongoing mask-wearing and social distancing.
I belong to the camp that feels there’s a lot at stake. I want to live a long life, keep my child safe, and avoid the possibility of long-term effects from COVID, which sounds unbearable. Sometimes, it feels surreal to be the only advocate for CDC guidelines among adults in my family. In my previous career as a journalist, I frequently shared CDC data, so being labeled as neurotic for wanting to follow their recommendations is hard to fathom.
This situation is isolating, creating rifts in once-close relationships. It fosters distrust and makes me question the fabric of my family ties. I’ve always strived to do the right thing, whether it was listening to police officers about drugs or firefighters about fire safety. I want to navigate this pandemic responsibly and ensure we all come through it healthy.
One family member argued, “we each have a choice” regarding our pandemic behavior, but I feel that their choices impede mine. Without any willingness to compromise, I face the prospect of spending Thanksgiving alone—with hopefully my child—or being gaslighted into attending a gathering. It leaves a sense of wrongness hanging in the air.
You say you love me, but not enough to wear a mask. You say you care, but not enough to eat outside.
Ultimately, sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs, even if it feels like you’re standing alone among those you trust most.
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Summary:
The article explores the tensions arising within a family regarding adherence to pandemic guidelines for holiday gatherings. With differing opinions on vaccination and safety measures, one family member feels isolated in advocating for CDC recommendations, leading to feelings of distrust and uncertainty about familial bonds.
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