November 4, 2021
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Bullies are truly the worst. It’s as simple as that. Whether it’s the deep-rooted scars from childhood bullying, the harassment we face as adults, or the painful realization that our kids are experiencing it too, the impact is profound. Bullying leaves us feeling vulnerable, anxious, and questioning our self-worth. But it’s crucial to remember that the issue lies with the bully—whether it’s that obnoxious kid who kicks others down or the self-important colleague who needs to belittle others to feel superior. It’s not about you.
Bullies are often insecure individuals searching for validation that they’ll never achieve unless they change their behavior. Their desperate need for acceptance drives them to hurt others, including you or your children. If you or your kids have been bullied, it’s essential to remember your true selves. Remind your children of their worth, too. No one can take that away—not that mean girl Sarah who whispers behind your daughter in class, or that obnoxious Joe from your workplace who steals credit and belittles others.
Sarah and Joe are insignificant. You, on the other hand, are amazing. At 49 years old, I still carry the weight of the physical and verbal bullying I faced in school. However, I’m grateful that smartphones didn’t exist back then; I can’t imagine the humiliation of having videos of those moments.
Confessions of Bullying
Confession #25858642: While I completely resonate with the sentiment, I was not the one who anonymously sent the “Rot in Hell!” flower arrangement to my childhood bully’s funeral.
Confession #25845218: I still carry the memory of my lonely high school years, despite having worked hard to build a decent life and make friends. The trauma from middle school bullying and a cruel family remains vivid.
Confession #25841914: To Mark and Tyler who tormented me in high school: I’ve grown into a beautiful writer, wife, mother, and grandmother who spreads positivity in the community. I hope you’re living with the consequences of your actions.
The long-term effects of childhood bullying can be harsh. Healing takes time, and some may never fully recover. Just look back and recognize your strength—how resilient you are, because you’re still here. You’re likely much happier and more successful than those who tried to bring you down.
Bullying through exclusion has always existed. At 58, I still remember the mean girls who did it to me.
Confession #25850627: My middle school bully is now teaching in elementary school. I hope she’s changed because she was quite a piece of work back then!
Confession #25851286: During a sixth-grade fight, I bit off a piece of my bully’s ear; it had to be sewn back on. After that, they left me alone for the rest of grade school.
Confession #25850258: My partner and I both faced severe bullying in school. Some think forced inclusion helps, but in my experience, it only leads to more bullying. The only thing that worked for me was moving away.
Even if we spend our lives trying to heal from the trauma caused by bullies, a part of that history lingers. We’ll never forget, even if we find the strength to forgive. The best we can do is channel those negative experiences into something positive—promoting kindness and teaching our children to do the same.
As adults, bullying still infiltrates our lives, just as it did in childhood. Some of us even find ourselves married to a bully, unsure how to escape.
I wish my partner would confront their bullying manager at work. They’re much kinder than I am, and I just want to step in and defend them!
Confession #25858754: I’m tired of seeing the office bully mistreat good employees with her aggressive attitude.
Confession #25853894: At my job, one person gets fired for too many absences while another continues to bully everyone without repercussions. It’s unbelievable.
Confession #25849776: I was passed over for a promotion in favor of a coworker who bullies her way through tasks. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how she gets results.
We also face regular bullying at work, whether from bosses or colleagues. It often feels like we have no control and must endure toxic environments daily. But when we discover our children are being bullied, it’s heart-wrenching. We want to confront the bully ourselves, but empowering our kids to handle it is far more effective.
We hope childhood bullies eventually recognize their wrongs, reflecting on the hurt they caused and striving for redemption. And the same goes for adult bullies.
Ultimately, our goal is to raise resilient kids who understand the importance of kindness—who know how to stand up for others rather than remain bystanders. It all starts with us; our children are watching our behavior.
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In summary, bullying affects us deeply, from childhood to adulthood. While it can leave lasting scars, we can choose to rise above it and teach the next generation about kindness and resilience. The journey of healing may be long, but the strength we find within ourselves is invaluable.
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