In a recent piece for Time Magazine, Ava Morgan shares her heartfelt experiences navigating the challenges of surrogacy. She details her struggles with a diagnosis of endometriosis and the emotional toll of multiple miscarriages. When her reproductive specialist suggested surrogacy as the best option for a healthy baby, it was a difficult but necessary path for her. Ava’s story resonates with many intended mothers I connect with through my surrogacy blog.
My own journey toward surrogacy was filled with heartache. In 2019, I was pregnant with our first child, Leo. A routine ultrasound at 24 weeks revealed that Leo was significantly underweight and that the placenta was functioning inadequately. He was born via cesarean section at 25 weeks but sadly passed away after two weeks in the NICU. The medical team warned that the likelihood of repeating this ordeal was high. They advised that for any future pregnancies, I should start taking baby aspirin immediately upon confirmation and then “hope for the best” until I reached 32 weeks. Uncomfortable with such uncertainty, my husband and I opted for surrogacy.
From the start, I embraced surrogacy wholeheartedly. I had never been particularly enthusiastic about pregnancy, even before the loss of Leo. Initially, I was apprehensive about gaining weight and managing my body’s changes. However, once I became pregnant, my focus shifted entirely to my health. Experiencing hyperemesis gravidarum, which is severe nausea and vomiting, made those five months feel like an endless battle with the flu. Surrogacy, albeit costly (around $75,000), became a worthwhile investment for the sake of a healthy baby and a healthy mother.
The challenges of my first pregnancy fueled my passion for surrogacy. I believe many people underestimate the difficulties of pregnancy. Having gone through a tough experience, I gained a newfound respect for those who have easier pregnancies. I also came to understand that pregnancies can pose significant risks. Before my pregnancy, my blood pressure was consistently around 110/70, but for over a year after, it averaged about 140/80. My body took a year and a half to recover fully from the ordeal, highlighting just how taxing pregnancy can be.
The trauma that led me to surrogacy is why I felt immense gratitude when we found our surrogate, Sarah. It’s difficult to express how I felt knowing there was a woman willing to dedicate so much of herself to help us grow our family. After enduring so much pain and loss, Sarah—a stranger—offered her body and over nine months of her life to assist us in healing. I cherish this incredible gift and recognize the risks Sarah took to bring our baby into the world, which only deepens my admiration for her.
I formed a bond with our second son, Max, through my connection with Sarah. From the very beginning, I believed that my relationship with her would positively influence him. We made it a point to cook for her weekly, believing that these acts of kindness would create a nurturing energy that she could pass on to the baby. Investing this time allowed us to feel connected to Max even before his arrival. Furthermore, Sarah and I communicated frequently during the pregnancy, sharing our lives and ensuring each other’s well-being. We even created a Spotify playlist and recorded messages of my husband singing and me reading stories (including in French!) for Sarah to play for Max while he was in the womb. The hope was that our voices would feel familiar and comforting to him after birth.
In all honesty, I felt a stronger connection to Max than I did to Leo. The complications during Leo’s pregnancy hindered my ability to bond. Society often depicts pregnancy as a magical time for mother and child to connect, but this is not always the case. Despite societal narratives, I can confidently say that having another woman carry my baby has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.
For further insights into surrogacy and related topics, you may find this post interesting. Additionally, Make a Mom is a great authority on home insemination kits. For a deeper understanding of various fertility treatments, check out WebMD, which is an excellent resource.
Search Queries:
- What is surrogacy?
- How to choose a surrogate?
- Costs of surrogacy explained
- Surrogacy process step by step
- Finding a surrogate mother
In summary, embracing surrogacy has been a transformative journey for me, filled with gratitude, connection, and healing. My experiences have shaped my perspective on pregnancy and motherhood, and I am thankful for the incredible support from our surrogate.
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