5 Strategies for Parents of Girls Who Prefer Adventure Over Traditional Gender Roles

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In Southern California during the 1970s, my mother embarked on an intriguing experiment with my older brother and me. She provided me with toy trucks and him with dolls, believing our preferences in play were solely shaped by societal influences. Although well-intentioned, her hypothesis didn’t hold for us: I naturally gravitated towards traditionally “feminine” toys, while my brother promptly reclaimed his “masculine” ones with a skeptical smirk.

Despite the lack of scientific backing in her approach—this was a time when health food meant carob chips and home decor included oversized brass pyramids—she was onto something significant. Fast forward to today, and my own daughter has begun to reject anything deemed “for boys.” She perceives that “girl” items are often pink, frilly, and glittery, while “boy” toys lean towards darker, metallic, and industrial aesthetics. It’s disheartening that, decades later, we still perpetuate such rigid gender distinctions. Why must our children feel confined to either the realm of princesses or trucks?

As a parent, I want my children, especially my daughter, to explore all their options without gender-based limitations. Here are five actionable strategies to encourage girls to embrace a broader range of interests:

1. Engage in Sports Together: It’s a common misconception that sports are only for boys. Make a conscious effort to involve your daughters in athletic activities. Recently, while watching the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team win the World Cup, my daughter asked, “Are they really all girls?” Encourage your partner to explain plays and strategies during games in the same way they would for boys, fostering an environment where sports are for everyone.
2. Opt for Gender-Neutral Clothing: Look for clothing that steers clear of pinks, ruffles, and traditional feminine motifs. Brands like Primary offer stylish options that don’t scream gender norms. This not only empowers your daughter but also promotes a culture of acceptance for varied interests.
3. Introduce Coding: In our technology-driven world, coding is a vital skill. Encourage your daughters to join initiatives like Girls Who Code or local coding camps. By fostering an interest in programming, we can help them become part of a future where they aren’t limited to stereotypical career paths.
4. Foster Cross-Gender Friendships: Promote friendships that transcend gender boundaries. My son’s closest friend is a girl; they met at a young age and have maintained a strong bond. It’s crucial to create opportunities for mixed-gender playdates. Avoid the temptation of all-girl birthday parties, as these can reinforce limiting social norms.
5. Diverse Reading Material: Provide your daughters with a selection of books that feature male protagonists, such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, or graphic novels. Reading about different perspectives can help them understand and appreciate diverse narratives, proving that their reading choices shouldn’t be dictated by gender.

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In summary, it’s essential to empower our daughters to explore interests beyond traditional gender roles. By encouraging diverse activities, friendships, and choices, we can help shape a future where they feel free to pursue whatever resonates with them.