As Halloween has passed, it’s that time of year when families begin planning for the holiday season, starting with Thanksgiving. Previously, family disputes revolved around who would host the gathering—debates about who deserved the honor or what was most convenient. However, last year, the conversation was straightforward. Without a vaccine, everyone opted for small, private Thanksgiving dinners.
This year, we find ourselves navigating murky waters once more. On one hand, we have access to a vaccine; on the other, some family members have chosen not to get vaccinated, and there are little ones who are still ineligible for full protection. Plus, it’s important to remember that vaccinated individuals can still contract COVID-19, even if they likely avoid severe illness.
This year, I’m taking a rational approach. I want to adhere to the recommendations from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. Perhaps I’m being overly cautious, but I tend to trust experts. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one in my family—comprising my partner and our kids, my parents, my siblings and their families, and my in-laws—who is interested in following these guidelines.
Within this group, there are unvaccinated adults, some vaccinated individuals with health issues that put them at higher risk, and several children who have only recently become eligible for the vaccine and are not fully vaccinated yet. Despite being dispersed across different cities and states, we all live in areas with “high transmission” rates.
According to the CDC, if multiple households gather indoors—five in our case—we should all wear masks, or ideally, meet outside. This poses a challenge in colder climates. I proposed renting patio heaters for outdoor dining and asking everyone to wear masks indoors. This suggestion was met with either outright rejection or silence from the group.
Some family members, particularly older, retired ones, fall into the “nothing to lose” mindset. They want to see family without adhering to any guidelines. Others are skeptical of the CDC. Some claim to accept the science yet challenge it with flawed reasoning, like, “none of us have gotten it yet, so it will be fine,” or dismissing the high transmission label for our area by insisting that “we’re careful.” Many are simply exhausted by the ongoing mask mandates and social distancing.
I belong to the camp that feels I have a lot at stake; I want to ensure my safety and that of my child. I don’t want to take unnecessary risks, especially with long COVID looming as a potential aftermath of infection.
At times, it feels surreal. I never imagined I would find myself on the outside looking in while attempting to convey CDC guidelines to adults. In my previous life as a journalist, I frequently referred to CDC data with confidence. Now, it seems absurd that I am viewed as overly anxious for wanting to follow their recommendations. This ongoing situation feels isolating and has created rifts in relationships that were once close. It generates distrust, prompting me to wonder whether I truly have a supportive family.
I have always aimed to do the right thing. Whether it was listening to police officers about drugs or firefighters about fire safety, I took their advice seriously. Now, as we navigate this pandemic, I want to act responsibly to ensure that I and my loved ones get through this safely.
One family member pointed out that “we each have a choice” regarding our pandemic lifestyle. Yet, it feels as though their choices hinder my ability to make choices that align with my values. With no willingness to find a middle ground, I face the possibility of spending Thanksgiving alone (hopefully with my child) or being pressured into attending a gathering. Either way, it feels deeply unsettling.
You say you love me, but not enough to wear a mask. You love me, but not enough to eat outside. Do you really love me?
Sometimes, you have to advocate for yourself. I never expected to feel so isolated among those I trust most with my wellbeing. For further insights on navigating these challenges, you can check out this related blog post and for more information on pregnancy and health, visit the CDC’s pregnancy resource page.
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In summary, as families approach the holiday season, the ongoing pandemic presents unique challenges. Diverging views on health guidelines create tension, especially when some members are unwilling to compromise for the sake of safety. It’s crucial to advocate for oneself while navigating these complex dynamics, even when it feels isolating.
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