After a holiday spent in isolation with my immediate family in 2020, I was hopeful we’d finally found a COVID-safe way to gather with our extended family this Thanksgiving. Everyone was fully vaccinated—my husband, our teenager, my mother, my in-laws, and my husband’s siblings and their partners—except for our nine-year-old, who would have just received his first vaccine dose.
We planned to be extra cautious the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Our routine included masked outings to school, work, and grocery stores, avoiding any unmasked interactions outside our household. On Thanksgiving morning, we would all take rapid tests to ensure everyone was healthy.
Initially, I felt confident about our plan until my mother, who is even more cautious than I am, called with concerns. She learned that one of our guests planned to attend a concert at a bar just a week before our gathering. Despite this person being vaccinated, my mother was anxious, especially since our youngest son, who has asthma, wouldn’t be fully vaccinated yet.
After our call, I stared at the calendar, realizing we had six days between the concert and Thanksgiving. I began frantically searching for COVID incubation periods and whether a rapid test could catch any potential infection by then. I even reached out to a doctor friend for advice. Overwhelmed, I sat down and cried. “I just can’t do this anymore,” I confessed to myself.
The pandemic has dragged on for nearly 20 months, and it feels like I’m constantly engaged in risk assessment. Every little action our family takes seems to require a thorough analysis of potential risks versus benefits. I remember the early days, questioning if it was safe for my kids to even walk through our apartment building or play in our communal yard.
Last summer, I deliberated endlessly over whether to send my kids back to school. This year was no different. Each decision, from playdates to birthday parties to urgent care visits, has been a mental strain, particularly with fluctuating COVID numbers.
While we’ve all been vaccinated for six months (except my youngest), I still find myself making cautious choices, knowing the risks are still present. My son has experienced severe asthma attacks in the past, and the thought of him catching COVID is terrifying. Even when he is fully vaccinated, I know the worry won’t disappear. Breakthrough infections can happen, and the consequences could mean extended absence from school or work for the family, not to mention the potential exposure to vulnerable individuals.
The burden of these decisions often falls on me. My husband supports me and follows the guidelines, but I’m the one who makes the calls. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and numb. It’s affecting even mundane choices, like deciding whether to order take-out or buy a holiday gift.
Ultimately, my risk assessment fatigue has reached an all-time high. The emotional toll of navigating pandemic-related decisions has made me feel like crying over everything. I know I’m not alone in this struggle; many parents, especially moms, are facing similar challenges. If only someone could take over these decisions for me during this prolonged crisis.
If you’re interested in more on this topic, you can check out one of our other blog posts here. For those looking for additional insights on fertility, Make a Mom provides valuable resources. The CDC also offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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In conclusion, the ongoing pandemic has led to a significant emotional burden, especially for parents like me who feel the weight of decision-making in uncertain times.
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