Updated: Aug. 28, 2023
After my third C-section, I made the decision to undergo a tubal ligation. Let’s face it, I’m no spring chicken, and I had been fortunate to have three healthy pregnancies and beautiful children. The thought of expanding our family to six was something I simply couldn’t entertain – just imagining a fourth child sent me into a panic. Three felt like the perfect number.
You would think that after opting for elective sterilization, life would become a blissful experience, filled with spontaneous moments with my husband. Unfortunately, reality had other plans. Now, not only did I have three kids to care for, but my menstrual cycle was showing up for an unwelcome 21 days a month. After enduring months of excessive bleeding, I finally secured an appointment with my busy gynecologist. I arranged for a babysitter, stocked up on supplies, and awaited my appointment day with anticipation.
As I stood by the door, watching the clock for the babysitter’s arrival, I grew increasingly anxious. When she was five minutes late, I called and got sent to voicemail. Panic set in—I could not afford to miss this appointment. With a precarious situation brewing, I made the regrettable decision: “Alright, kids, put on your shoes. Mom’s going to the doctor, and you’re coming with me.”
My oldest son piped up, “Are you getting shots? I hate shots!” as I secured him in his car seat. “No shots today,” I assured him, while mentally cringing at the thought of him witnessing my exam.
Upon checking in, I felt the judgmental stares from the other patients. I could almost hear their thoughts: “What on earth is this woman doing here with her kids?” I almost retorted with something sarcastic about homeschooling and biology lessons, but I thought better of it. They were right; this was a truly chaotic situation.
Finally, in the examination room, I started to second-guess my decision to bring my children. What was I thinking? My mind raced with thoughts of how I could just endure another month of my cycle. I held the paper gown in one hand and my purse in the other, glancing at my kids. The baby was asleep, while the older two were engrossed in their devices. To my surprise, they seemed oblivious to our surroundings.
As I prepared for the exam, I was relieved to find that my kids were keeping themselves occupied. I was so focused on the examination that I almost forgot they were there—until I heard the unmistakable sound of my phone’s camera clicking. I opened my eyes to see my four-year-old standing behind the doctor, aimed directly at my exposed self.
“Umm, honey, what are you doing?” I asked cautiously, trying to remain calm. I was in no position to scold him, as it felt like I was facing a loaded situation.
“I’m taking pictures for Daddy,” he chirped, completely focused on the screen.
“Can I have my phone, please?” I responded, trying to keep my cool.
“Okay, I’m done,” he sang cheerfully.
“Done?” I thought. Oh no, what did that mean? Images of my wide-open self circulating online flashed through my mind, potentially reaching everyone I knew. This was turning into the most embarrassing moment of my life.
As he handed me the phone, I braced for impact. Instead of scandalous photos, I found a series of 43 selfies, taken by a four-year-old who didn’t quite understand how to operate the camera.
The takeaway from this experience? If you ever find yourself in the position of bringing your children to a less-than-ideal location, remember that it may not turn out as disastrous as you expect—especially if you have a device set to airplane mode.
For those interested in exploring options for family planning, check out resources like Genetics and IVF Institute or visit Make A Mom for insights on home insemination kits.
Summary
Managing a gynecologist appointment with kids can be a daunting task, filled with unexpected challenges. However, it can also lead to humorous situations that are memorable in their own right. With a bit of patience and the right tools, such as a smartphone in airplane mode, you might just make it through unscathed.
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