“Sorry, Emma, Mommy’s using the blue crayon right now,” I heard my friend say to her toddler. Little Emma pulled her hand back, looking puzzled and a little sad. I couldn’t believe it—why wouldn’t she just hand over the crayon? After all, Emma is such a sweet girl!
My own little one is still figuring out how to walk, so he hasn’t entered the crayon phase yet. But when he does, I plan to let him choose his crayons whenever he wants.
“Would you like to ask Mommy if you can have it next?” I suggested. A tiny furrow formed on Emma’s brow. “I have next, Mommy?” she asked, pointing at the blue crayon.
“Absolutely! I’m almost done,” her mom reassured her.
As time dragged on, Emma’s big brown eyes were full of hope while her tiny fingers twisted together in anticipation. “OK, I’m all done now,” her mom said, finally handing over the crayon. “You did such a great job waiting your turn. I love sharing with you!”
Her mom was using a brilliant technique to teach Emma about sharing without being overly accommodating. Instead of demanding that Emma share out of obligation, she was modeling patience and asking for consideration.
In the past, parents often insisted that their kids share regardless of their feelings—simply because it was seen as the polite thing to do. However, we’ve learned that teaching kids to suppress their own desires just to please others isn’t the best lesson. Sharing is important, but so is learning to ask politely and wait your turn, which is exactly what Emma’s mom was demonstrating.
Her approach also included switching roles, pretending she wanted to play with the same toy Emma had. This was a clever way to show Emma how to navigate situations where someone asks for something she hasn’t finished using. Emma is generally very compliant and would hand over her toys without a second thought, even when she didn’t want to. Her mom wanted her to learn to be assertive.
I’m constantly picking up parenting tips from my friend, who had her first child a year before I did. She’s incredibly intuitive and balances meeting her children’s needs while avoiding a sense of entitlement.
This sharing lesson came to mind when I saw a TikTok video that popped up on my feed. In the now-deleted clip titled “Parenting & behavior management tips: taking turns,” a dad was playing with his daughter, who was dressed like a princess.
In the video, the little girl clearly wanted a shiny toy crown that her dad was about to wear. “When I’m done, you can play with it, OK?” he told her. She whined and nudged him, clearly upset. “I understand you want the crown,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean you can push. You need to wait your turn.”
Then, Mom jumped in and asked, “What would you like to play with while you wait?” The dad offered a toy vacuum, which, let’s be honest, is a pretty lame substitute for a crown.
“I want the crown,” she insisted. The dad reiterated, “I know you want the crown, but I’m using it right now. You’ll just have to wait a bit.” Eventually, she wandered off to play with an Elsa doll, and both parents praised her for finding a solution.
When Dad finally handed her the crown, she cheerfully said, “Thank you!” and he replied, “You’re welcome! Thanks for waiting your turn.”
From this interaction, the little girl learned patience, what sharing looks like in action, and that it’s perfectly fine for boys to play with princess crowns. More importantly, these intentional moments show kids that while they are loved, their parents also have needs and deserve respect. Caregivers have feelings too, and we deserve kindness just like our children do.
Ultimately, the reason we teach our kids these important lessons is out of love. It’s not just about avoiding raising entitled kids; it’s about equipping them with the tools for healthy interactions and positive energy exchange. They need to learn how to navigate social situations effectively, even in what seems like a simple playtime interaction.
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In conclusion, teaching children about sharing and patience is essential for their development. By modeling these behaviors, we help them learn how to respect themselves and others, paving the way for healthier relationships in the future.
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