A few years back, I made the decision to ditch the traditional Thanksgiving feast for my family, and honestly, it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. I say “we” because my partner, Alex, was the one who nudged me to stop trying to make a turkey, pointing out that the time and effort didn’t match the payoff. (Sure, I can whip up a great turkey, but let’s be real—it’s still just a turkey.)
While I scrambled to prepare the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and salad, Alex would take the kids to catch a movie in the afternoon. I know many folks have their Thanksgiving meal at lunchtime but that concept still baffles me—what even is time? Later, my aunt would roast beets, my mom would whip up cranberry sauce, and we’d invite family friends, who’d often bring their own dishes—typically of the Chinese variety.
My kids, however, would take a couple of bites of all this lovingly prepared food before declaring they just wanted chicken nuggets and pizza.
Embracing My Roots
Before the pandemic, we embraced my heritage by returning to our restaurant Thanksgiving tradition. This is distinct from our restaurant Christmas dinner tradition (another Duan family staple), even though both involve enjoying holidays at Chinese restaurants.
Looking back, I can’t recall much about Thanksgiving meals during my childhood. Growing up in an immigrant household, traditional Thanksgiving food wasn’t on the menu. Instead, we often enjoyed Chinese hot pot, teppanyaki, or dishes my mom made, possibly even a roast duck from our favorite Asian market.
It wasn’t until we became part of a Chinese church that our Thanksgiving meals started featuring the classic turkey. We’d have potlucks with friends new to America, which resulted in a dry turkey from the grocery store being the only nod to tradition, while the real stars—duck, nuo mi fan, and other delicious dishes—vanished quickly.
I never understood why so many American holiday foods were so unremarkable. I complained every year that it was a waste of food, but at least there was the Chinese tradition of turkey congee the next day to make it worthwhile. Eventually, when my parents decided the hassle was too much, our Chinese restaurant Thanksgiving tradition was born.
So, why did I initially try to recreate this holiday for my own kids? For one, Alex grew up with a mom who made the full Thanksgiving spread, and since we rarely saw his family, I thought it would be nice for him to share that with our children. Plus, part of me wanted them to experience something that felt quintessentially “American.” There’s something magical about shared customs that brings people together. Lastly, I thought making Thanksgiving dinner was what a grown-up woman was supposed to do—and I wanted to be that woman. Turns out, I’m not.
Thankfully, Alex recognized my struggle before I did. And let’s face it, to have a truly “authentic” American Thanksgiving, we’d have to engage in some pretty uncomfortable historical truths, which is a whole different conversation.
Now, I simply make a reservation at our go-to Chinese restaurant on Thanksgiving (and Christmas)—or in these pandemic times, I opt for takeout. Last year, I even picked up the food a day early because the restaurant was closed on the day itself, and it was still delicious!
The Joy of Chinese Takeout on Thanksgiving
What’s the best part of ordering Chinese takeout on Thanksgiving? Everything! Seriously, it’s all about avoiding the hassle of preparing food. I no longer stress about finding the perfect turkey (organic, of course) before they sell out. I skip the brining nightmares and the last-minute panic of defrosting a massive bird. I don’t need to coordinate a menu with others or worry about cleaning my house for guests.
Instead, I just pay a fair amount to the wonderful folks at our local restaurant and enjoy a stress-free meal. My kids are also learning that we can choose how to spend our precious time—without being stuck eating dry turkey.
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Summary
We’ve swapped our traditional Thanksgiving dinner for a relaxed Chinese takeout meal, which has transformed our holiday experience. No more cooking stress; just delicious food and quality family time. Plus, we’re fostering a sense of autonomy and enjoyment in how we celebrate.
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