I can’t imagine having another baby. My partner and I have both agreed that if I were to become pregnant, we “wouldn’t keep it,” a euphemism for two people deciding to terminate a pregnancy that might have been welcomed under different circumstances.
My experiences with pregnancy have been nothing short of traumatic. By the time I had my third child, I was in the hospital for hyperemesis gravidarum, which meant I was throwing up so much that I couldn’t maintain a healthy pregnancy. I had to undergo long iron infusions due to severe anemia, and dealing with gestational diabetes meant I was giving myself insulin shots three times a day. Our financial situation was precarious, relying on credit cards, but thankfully my partner was able to care for our young children, who were just one and three at the time. Most of my day was spent in bed, either sleeping or battling nausea and exhaustion.
Life Today
Fast forward to today, and I have kids in second, fourth, and sixth grades whom I’m homeschooling. My partner teaches at a local high school, and if I were to get pregnant, my kids would need to transition into an unfamiliar school system—one that’s grappling with COVID.
However, the thought of terminating a pregnancy may no longer be an option. I live in a conservative state where we have a “heartbeat law” that requires invasive ultrasounds to check for fetal cardiac activity before any abortion can take place. If a heartbeat is detected, abortion becomes illegal except in cases of rape, incest, or life-threatening situations. With the potential overturning of Roe v. Wade looming, the right to choose an abortion could vanish entirely in my state. This would leave me with few, if any, options for care, forcing me to seek help elsewhere if I were to find myself unexpectedly pregnant.
The Impact on My Family
I would love to have another baby someday, but I can’t risk disrupting my sons’ lives. Their activities and well-being would take a backseat to my health. All three of my children have ADHD, which is why we chose to homeschool. While medication helps manage their conditions, my eldest struggles with sitting still and can have intense reactions to challenges. Plus, they’re all highly gifted, falling into the “twice exceptional” (2E) category, meaning they often struggle within traditional school settings.
My youngest, for instance, stutters and is such a sensitive soul that he cried when he learned about bullying. Would I really want to throw him into a second-grade classroom in a school system that’s not exactly known for its excellence? As for my oldest, he’d be thrust into middle school without the necessary skills to adapt, like managing homework and navigating lockers—skills he’s never had to learn because we’ve been homeschooling him.
You might think, “What’s the big deal? Kids go to school all the time.” But for my kids, who have never stepped foot inside a traditional classroom, the transition would be jarring. An unplanned pregnancy would leave them scrambling without any time to adjust. I wouldn’t even have the energy to attend IEP meetings or have the daily conversations needed with their school principal.
The Threat to Reproductive Rights
My children deserve to maintain the lives they currently know. If Roe is overturned, that right could change in an instant when I cross state lines. The implications would be severe, potentially reviving unsafe practices and erasing the choices women have.
For those of us in conservative states, if our birth control fails, we might have to travel far for medical care. If traveling isn’t feasible, we may end up carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term. Our options would vanish.
Resources for Consideration
If you’re considering your own journey into parenthood, you might want to check out Make a Mom, a unique at-home insemination company that offers reusable options. They also have a great guide on how at-home insemination works. And if you’re looking for resources, the NHS has excellent information on IVF and related topics. You can also join the supportive community at Make a Mom’s Facebook group for free sperm donor matching. Plus, for a reliable home insemination kit, check out Cryobaby’s Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit.
Conclusion
In summary, the choice to terminate a pregnancy is deeply personal and complex. It’s a decision that can impact not just the woman but also her existing family. In a world where reproductive rights are under threat, it’s crucial to consider the implications this has on families, especially those with children who may need extra support and stability.
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