As a plus-sized mom, I’ve often felt hesitant about volunteering at my kids’ school. Diet culture has led me to believe that my size might embarrass my children, even though we strive for a size-inclusive environment at home. Unfortunately, not every child grows up in a judgement-free space, and the reality is that fat jokes are everywhere. I know I can’t shield my kids from them, especially at school, which adds to my anxiety about being involved.
I’ve always envisioned myself as the mom who helps out during school events, donates to the Christmas toy drive, and brings treats for the office staff. So far, I’ve managed to live that dream, but not without some worries. If you’ve ever lived in a larger body, you might relate to the complex emotions that come with it. Even if you feel confident, situations like volunteering can spark insecurity.
Every time I walked into the school, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being self-conscious. I feared that instead of being happy to see me, my kids would feel uncomfortable with their friends around. What if they had to deal with teasing about their “big” mom after I left? Despite these thoughts, my boys have shown me that my fears are unfounded, as they proudly introduce me to their friends and look for my support in the classroom.
However, it’s not entirely irrational to worry about kids commenting on my size. Throughout my life, I’ve had children innocently remark on my appearance, often without any intention to offend. Their honest curiosity is usually just a reflection of their innocence, and I can’t help but remember a time when one of the kids I used to nanny asked why I was “shaped like a circle.” I still chuckle at that memory!
When you’re surrounded by so many children, it’s natural to wonder what they might say about you or to your kids. But remember: when a kid points out your size, it doesn’t have to be a major issue. Your response can shape their understanding of body positivity. It’s not your job to correct their behavior; instead, aim to avoid making them feel ashamed. This only reinforces negative perceptions about bodies.
Kids lack the life experience to understand the implications of their comments, so try to approach the situation with patience. I’ve found that having a consistent response helps make these moments smoother. For instance, when a child mentions my body, I reply with something like, “I know! I’m (fat/big/a circle/etc.). Isn’t it interesting how humans come in so many sizes? Just like you have (trait different from mine) and I have (my trait), we can all enjoy our time together!” This usually satisfies their curiosity.
I never deny my size because, let’s be real, kids are smart. I also don’t tell them to avoid commenting on bodies; that’s not my role in a brief interaction. I simply plant seeds of body positivity by being an affirming presence in their lives.
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Conclusion
In summary, while I still have my insecurities about volunteering at my kids’ school, I’ve learned to embrace the journey and encourage body positivity. It’s essential to foster an environment where kids can appreciate diversity in all its forms.
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