Absolutely, I let my kids drop a few swear words at home. While some parents might cringe at the thought, I find it pretty chill. I have a love for language and honestly, a little cursing doesn’t bother me—especially when it comes from my kids.
A Funny Family Outing
One day, during what was meant to be a fun family outing, my eldest spotted a sign at a Dunkin’ Donuts that read, “So. Pumpkin. Good.” He burst out laughing and said, “Ha. Instead of so f*ckin’ good, it says so pumpkin good.” I tried to suppress my laughter and asked why he would say that word in front of me. He replied, “I don’t know! My brain said, ‘Don’t say it. Don’t say it,’ but my mouth was like, ‘Go for it.’” I totally got it—my mouth has ignored my brain more times than I can count in my 37 years. Clearly, he’s just like me.
Some might think he should be punished; I simply reminded him to keep the adult language to a minimum for now and only use it at home or in the car with me. We both found the humor in it, and I was relieved that he didn’t leave feeling ashamed. It was an insightful comment, and I liked that he could appreciate the humor in a silly ad. As long as he holds off on using that kind of language outside our home for a bit longer, I’m okay with it.
Swearing in Our Household
Swear words aren’t completely foreign in our household. My kids hear them often—from us, other adults, and even the media they consume like movies, music, and podcasts. We treat them like any other words, without making them forbidden. I don’t want my kids to think that when I say “damn it!” I’m doing something wrong. Assigning that kind of weight to words just seems unnecessary.
Of course, we do have some boundaries. They understand that swear words are generally considered adult language, and it’s best to use milder terms instead. I’ve explained that developing a habit of cursing can lead to slip-ups in places like school, where they might face consequences.
Communication and Kindness
My husband, Tom, and I refrain from using swear words to insult anyone, and our kids know that’s a hard no. Our goal is to ensure that our communication is kind, truthful, and constructive—swearing doesn’t fit into that.
I’ve spent countless hours guiding my kids through the complexities of social interactions. We often talk about what’s appropriate to say in various settings. For example, they can joke about bodily functions in their room, but not in a library! Kids are capable of making decisions based on context, so I trust my boys to choose their words wisely.
Encouraging Moderation
I believe that my approach will help demystify swearing and encourage moderation. Or, I might just end up in the principal’s office when one of them forgets their manners and lets a curse slip at school. Who knows?
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Conclusion
In summary, I’m all for letting my kids explore language without making swearing a taboo topic. It’s important for me to foster a relaxed environment where they can learn about language and its usage in appropriate settings.
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