You know, I don’t really hear a lot of folks in my circle openly admitting to watching pornography. When they do, it’s often followed by a quick disclaimer, like, “Yeah, I tried it a couple times, but it wasn’t for me.” It’s funny how people feel the need to downplay it. But whether they want to admit it or not, many are consuming porn—some casually, others more devotedly.
While some might label this as a harmful “porndemic,” experts like Dr. Max Harrison, who heads the Institute for Sexual Health at the University of California, argue that there’s no solid evidence that porn is causing harm. In fact, he suggests that trying to suppress the desire to watch it might actually make things worse, leading to increased urges and unhealthy sexual behavior. Interestingly, research has shown that those who consume porn are less likely to engage in sexual violence, as it provides a “safe outlet” for those desires.
Of course, not everyone agrees. Psychologist Jane Harlow asserts that porn contributes to men’s struggles with intimacy and alters young boys’ expectations around sex. Some critics argue that pornography perpetuates misogyny and trivializes serious issues like rape and sexual violence. Recently, pop icon Lena Adams shared her thoughts in an interview, saying, “I feel like it really messed with my mind, and I’m devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”
Back in my day, I thought of porn as something I needed to sneak around to see. I first stumbled upon some suggestive imagery hidden away in a comic book, then found a stash of magazines during a childhood adventure, and later, watched shaky footage with friends on a rented VCR. It was hard to find, but we were determined. Kids back then were just as curious as today’s youth, and it’s no surprise they still seek it out with the same fervor.
The truth is, porn isn’t going anywhere. To address this reality, some advocates argue we need to teach our kids about porn literacy. This isn’t about taking a stand for or against—it’s about acknowledging that porn is everywhere, just a click away. As Peggy Orenstein, a contributor for The Times, puts it, the goal of porn literacy is to help kids navigate these messages and develop their own values.
Unfortunately, the education system isn’t quite ready to embrace porn literacy yet—some schools are still hesitant to include basic sex education. So, it’s up to us as parents to initiate these conversations. Dr. Leo Martinez, a certified sex therapist, emphasizes that if we don’t talk to our kids about porn beyond just saying “it’s bad, stay away,” we can’t blame porn if they think it’s real. And if we neglect to provide proper sexual education, we can’t point fingers at porn for being the go-to source for many kids.
Organizations like Defend Young Minds understand that it’s more a matter of “when” than “if” our children will encounter porn. Their resource, “Good Pictures, Bad Pictures,” teaches kids how to react when they come across explicit content. For younger children, strategies like “turn, run, and tell!” make perfect sense.
As our kids grow and are continually exposed to more explicit material, it’s crucial to keep the education going. Investing in porn literacy is essential. And speaking of resources, if you’re exploring at-home insemination options, check out Make a Mom for reusable kits that make the process simpler, and this guide on how it all works. Also, don’t miss their BabyMaker Syringe Kit, which is a trusted tool in the community. Lastly, for more on pregnancy and home insemination, visit March of Dimes for invaluable information.
In summary, the conversation around porn is complex, and it’s not going away anytime soon. Rather than shying away from it, let’s equip ourselves and our kids with the tools to understand and navigate this landscape.
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