So, here I am, officially in middle age. That phrase can sound a bit intimidating, can’t it? You know, middle-agers are often seen as wrinkly, old folks who only tune into talk radio and drive those sensible family cars. But honestly, I still feel youthful (mostly!). Sure, I’ve picked up a few of those classic middle-age habits; I jam out to “90s on 9” and have become slightly out of touch with the latest hits. I now have a small arsenal of eye creams and serums, and my nighttime wardrobe leans heavily towards sensible nightgowns. Just like my life, my marriage has also settled into its own middle-aged groove.
But here’s the kicker—I’ve never felt more content.
I’m 42 and my husband, Jake, is 48. We’ve got four kids, a mortgage, a minivan, and IRA accounts to our names. Our evenings are often spent watching reruns on Netflix or catching up on “Dateline.” We’re not searching for excitement anymore. Honestly, the highlight of my Christmas season last year was scoring the last inflatable nutcracker at the store and high-fiving Jake like we had just won a game show. It was a big deal to us!
I really adore Jake as he approaches 50. He has minimal expectations of me, which is a relief! He loves me just the way I am. When we first started dating nearly 20 years ago, I had the body of a model and wore heels that could turn heads. Fast forward, and I’ve traded that silhouette for a C-section scar and comfy yoga pants. Oh, and don’t forget the custom orthotics for my plantar fasciitis—super attractive, right? But he doesn’t mind; he even gifted me a T-shirt that says, “This Is My Christmas Movie Watching Shirt.” Not because it’s sexy, but because it’s comfy, and he thought it would be a nice addition to my wardrobe.
Don’t get me wrong—date nights still happen, and I do make an effort to look nice. I’ve just found a sense of ease in who I am right now. I’m a mom managing a household, not a professional closing business deals, and that’s perfectly fine with both of us.
Our middle-aged marriage isn’t dull; it’s cozy and comfortable. We have a go-to list of meals that we cycle through. I’m not busting out culinary masterpieces like I once did when it was just the two of us. The kids love simple stuff like buttered noodles and Shake ‘N Bake, and Jake never complains. Maybe it’s a dad thing—he’ll eat pretty much anything I put in front of him. His favorite? A good old sandwich. He swears I make the best sandwiches in the world, but I think it’s just because I make them for him.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though. We argue like any couple does, but here’s where the middle age wisdom kicks in—you realize that it’s just not worth it to stretch out the disagreements. Sure, you want to be right, but do you want to drag it out for days on end? The longer we’re together, the more we appreciate the value in agreeing to disagree. (Though, he should really know I’m mostly right!)
I might not be that girl in heels anymore, but I’m a new woman, and Jake has been a part of that journey every step of the way. He was right there when I got my C-section scar and helped me shower when I could barely stand. I rushed to the hospital when he had an accident, praying for his safety. Together, we’ve tackled broken dishwashers and cranky babies. We’ve loved through the tough times and never given up on each other.
What I cherish most about our middle-aged marriage is how our future is about us—together for the long haul. We’ve survived the baby and toddler years. The days of uncertainty about jobs and life are fading behind us. We’ve settled into careers we love, and we fully support each other, no matter where our paths might lead. Soon, we’ll have a child in high school, and we’re determined to savor every moment before our nest empties.
When that day comes, I believe we’ll still be just as happy together. As I journey toward old age, I promise to cherish the mundane moments of my middle-aged marriage. When he asks for a sandwich, I’ll stop what I’m doing to whip one up. On days when he surprises me with flowers, I’ll greet him with a kiss and a heartfelt thank you, knowing he thought of me. I’ll make the bed with fresh sheets before he comes to bed, just so he can breathe in that Tide scent he loves.
And I’ll keep quoting Huey Lewis and The News: “Yes, it’s true. I’m so happy to be stuck with you.”
For those of you exploring parenthood, consider checking out Make A Mom for at-home insemination options—it’s the only sustainable and reusable option out there! You can also join the Make A Mom Facebook group for free sperm donor matching. If you’re curious how it all works, take a peek at how at-home insemination works. And if you want more insights into the journey of artificial insemination, this couples fertility journey kit is worth checking out. It’s also helpful to consult March of Dimes for reliable information on pregnancy.
In summary, my middle-aged marriage is filled with love, comfort, and a shared understanding of what truly matters. We may be settled into a routine, but that routine is what brings us joy.
Leave a Reply