Hey friends! So, let me share a little about my journey. I got married at just 21 and, without skipping a beat, dove right into motherhood. After six long years, we welcomed our first child, followed by a second three years later, and then, after another four years, completed our family with a third little one. From 21 to 36, I was fully immersed in the “baby stage” — pregnant, nursing, or trying to conceive.
That’s a solid fifteen years of my life! If I had taken a different route, I might have spent that time enjoying myself more, maybe partying or just focusing on me. But instead, I dedicated those years to ovulation tests, fertility meds, and everything else that comes with building a family. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing; being a mom is something I was meant to do. Each of my three kids means the world to me.
But guess what? They’re not babies anymore! My youngest is now two, and she weaned a few months ago. For the first time since I was 21, my body is completely my own. No more housing, feeding, or dreaming of another baby. My tubes are tied, and my baby phase is officially done. While there’s a touch of nostalgia, there’s also a refreshing sense of freedom and time.
Embracing the ‘Me Stage’
Now that I’m out of the Baby Stage, it’s all about my Me Stage. I’m reclaiming the aspects of life I set aside when I first became a mom. Sure, I’m still caring for my kids, but they’re becoming more independent every day. I believe it’s important for them to see me rediscover who I am outside of being their caregiver. They shouldn’t have to carry that weight; it’s crucial they see me as a person, not just their mom, so they can also explore who they are beyond our family.
One of the first things I did when I decided to focus on myself was to get a panniculectomy, a procedure to remove excess skin and fat from my lower abdomen. The moment my last baby weaned, I jumped into the insurance approval process and had the surgery a few months ago. I may still be plus-size and round, but I feel so much happier in my skin! My mobility has improved, shopping for clothes is fun again, and I feel more energetic and confident than I have in years. Honestly, that apron belly was weighing down my heart even more than my body.
This surgery opened my eyes to how much I was sidelining myself during the baby phase. Always putting my kids first felt natural, but I didn’t realize how much I was neglecting my own needs. My children have everything they could want, and I’ve learned that it’s not selfish to step into the spotlight of my own life occasionally.
Rediscovering Joy
For me, this means scheduling regular nail appointments, making time for my girlfriends, and investing in skincare. I’m even diving into some late-night crafting sessions! Plus, guilt-free date nights are back on the table since I’m no longer leaving a tiny nursing baby behind. My “Me Stage” is all about allowing myself to indulge in activities that bring me joy without feeling guilty about it.
With three years until I hit the big 4-0, I’m determined to enjoy this time to the fullest. I want to engage in things that make me happy and provide me with a sense of purpose that isn’t solely tied to motherhood. When I turn 40, I want to confidently say that I consistently care for everyone I love, including myself.
Resources for Your Journey
If you’re on a similar journey and need support, check out Make a Mom for at-home insemination options or join the free sperm donor matching group. You can also learn about how at-home insemination works and explore their artificial insemination kit. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource. And if you’re interested in health care equality, check out this blog post.
Conclusion
In summary, I’m embracing my new phase of life, focusing on myself while still being there for my kids. It’s all about balance and rediscovery, and I’m excited for what’s to come!
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