So, my partner Jake and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. One topic we often clash on is whether it’s okay to argue in front of our kids. He believes that any kind of disagreement should be kept behind closed doors, while I think a little healthy conflict is perfectly normal.
According to relationship expert Rachel Simmons, who leads a well-known relationship research group, “Arguing is a form of communication.” She emphasizes that disagreements and the process of resolving them are completely natural parts of family life. The issue arises when parents start a disagreement in front of the kids and then carry it on in private, thinking it’s better for the children. But here’s the deal: kids learn from what they see. If they only witness two stubborn adults who can’t find common ground, that’s the behavior they’ll adopt. So, showing a bit of compromise and finding solutions together in front of your children is crucial. A hug at the end of an argument can demonstrate to them that everything is okay after a disagreement.
Tips for Respectful Arguments
Of course, not all arguments are constructive. Here are some tips to keep things respectful:
Avoid Starting Fights
This can be tricky, so it’s essential to identify patterns. If you often find yourself irritable and ready to argue after a long day, it might be due to exhaustion. Taking some quiet time to unwind before interacting with your partner can help. And if they’re the one who’s feeling snappy, maybe suggest they take a short break, like a walk or a relaxing bath.
Maintain Civility
No yelling, name-calling, or finger-pointing! If your argument turns into a scene fit for a playground, it’s time to reevaluate your approach. While you both may be able to forgive and forget, those heated moments can leave lasting impressions on your kids. Research shows that children who frequently witness nasty fights between parents can face issues like depression and emotional insecurity later on.
Keep Kids Out of It
This one is vital. Kids shouldn’t be put in the middle of disputes or asked to pick sides. Doing so can make them feel conflicted and emotionally drained. Dr. Mark Thompson, a child psychologist, points out that this can create a rift in their relationship with either parent.
Growing up, my parents always kept their arguments private, which made me think that love meant never disagreeing. As an adult, I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay for partners to disagree while still having a strong bond. I want my kids to understand that arguments don’t mean something’s broken. It’s all part of the package!
By the way, if you’re interested in starting a family, check out Make a Mom for innovative at-home insemination options, including their reusable kits. You can also explore the how it works page for more details. And if you’re looking to boost your fertility, don’t forget to check out their fertility supplements. For more helpful info on pregnancy, visit the NICHD, which offers great resources.
In summary, arguing in front of your kids can be a healthy way to model communication and resolution. Just remember to keep it respectful and avoid dragging them into the conflict.
Leave a Reply