Unsure What to Say During Intimacy? This Fantastic Guide to Dirty Talk is Just What You Need

The ideal mix of naughty and flirtatious.

It’s time to spice things up in the bedroom, and you’re eager to be more vocal. Whether it’s been a suggestion from your partner or you’re just looking to explore the world of dirty talk, expressing yourself during intimacy can enhance your experience. However, knowing what to say might feel awkward at first. As Dr. Lisa Green, a relationship expert, notes, “Discussing our sexual desires and boundaries is often stigmatized in society. This creates a sense of vulnerability and fear of judgment when it comes to dirty talk.”

But don’t worry — engaging in conversation during intimacy can be both fun and fulfilling. Dr. Mark Roberts, host of the “Intimacy Insights” podcast, emphasizes that learning to seduce with your words not only elevates your sexual life but can also improve overall communication. “Using dirty talk activates various parts of the brain related to sound and emotion, leading to a more immersive experience,” he explains.

Want to learn how to talk dirty without feeling awkward? Keep reading for some enticing tips that will help you become a confident conversationalist in the bedroom.

Create a Comfortable Atmosphere

For beginners, Dr. Green suggests setting the mood before trying out dirty talk. “Dim the lights, light a candle, and do whatever makes you feel secure. Set a timer for about 15 minutes and ask your partner for one word or phrase that excites them.” Then, sit facing each other and bounce that word back and forth. “Start with something a bit uncomfortable but not overly triggering. Change your tone and be playful with it; after all, intimacy should be enjoyable,” she advises.

Dr. Green also recommends practicing alone to ease any discomfort. “Choose an object that symbolizes your partner and dim the lights. Start with one or two words that make you uneasy and repeat them for 30 seconds. Multiple sessions may be necessary, so try it several times a day for a few days until you feel more at ease.”

Define Your Intentions

Dr. Roberts encourages you to reflect on your intentions and how you want to feel during intimate moments. “Understanding your objectives can help shape your dirty talk style, which may vary from session to session.” Questions to consider include:

Do you want to feel submissive or dominant?
Are you aiming for a playful or romantic vibe?
Do you want to boost your partner’s confidence or your own?
Are you interested in pushing boundaries for some added thrill?

Discover Each Other’s Preferences

It’s crucial for partners to communicate their individual likes and dislikes regarding dirty talk. Dr. Green suggests creating a list of phrases you’re comfortable with. For example:

“I want to feel you inside me.”
“You drive me wild.”
“Tell me how good this feels.”

Another idea is to go through a vocabulary list of body parts and sexual acts, rating them from turn-on (5) to turn-off (1), to clarify preferences.

Start with Simple Sounds

If you’re hesitant about dirty talk, Dr. Roberts suggests beginning with simple sounds or phrases that express pleasure. Words like “Yes,” “Mmm,” or “Don’t stop” can effectively communicate your feelings. You can also let out a few moans or heavy breaths to indicate enjoyment.

Practice Makes Perfect

Lastly, remember that you don’t need to be perfect when it comes to dirty talk. Dr. Roberts points out that it’s essential to embrace laughter and awkward moments. “Sometimes, you might misspeak, and that’s completely okay. Laughter can ease tension and remind you that intimacy doesn’t have to be serious.”

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Summary

Embracing dirty talk during intimacy can enhance your experience and strengthen communication with your partner. Start by creating a comfortable atmosphere, identifying your intentions, and discussing each other’s preferences. Remember that practice is key, and it’s okay to embrace the awkwardness along the way.