“Life can be quite challenging, don’t you think?” my friend, Sarah, texted me recently.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We were attempting to coordinate a meetup for the upcoming weekend, but the usual suspects—children’s activities, travel commitments, and various obligations—were complicating our plans. I miss Sarah, and I know she feels the same. Disappointment looms when life gets in the way.
This morning was a whirlwind of chaos. I awoke to find a leak in the bathroom sink and a shower door that had come off its hinges. One of my dogs had made a mess of Jackson’s piano book, while the other, or perhaps the same one, left an unwelcome surprise across multiple rooms in the house. Our hurried morning was filled with frantic school drop-offs and rushed goodbyes. I felt teetering on the edge of tears for much of the day without a clear reason. Some days just feel harder than others.
“Parenting is tough,” a friend messaged me later in the day. “It feels like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without any plan or direction.”
“I resonate with that sentiment most days,” I replied.
The barrage of parenting questions can be overwhelming. Are they sleeping enough? Are we reading together sufficiently? At what age is it too old for a blankie and thumb-sucking? Should I allow my son to play football? Should they be involved in more extracurriculars, or perhaps fewer? With each new developmental phase, I feel like I’m plummeting off a cliff without a safety net. Most days, I’m convinced that I’m falling short in various aspects of parenting.
Indeed, parenting is challenging. Friendship can be complicated. Nurturing relationships requires effort. Work can be taxing. Life can simply be hard. At times, it all feels like an uphill battle.
By expressing this reality—acknowledging that life can be difficult—I recognize that I am wading into murky waters. Admitting hardship is often seen as unpopular; we prefer to share the good times and gloss over the struggles. It’s easier to recount difficulties after we’ve emerged victorious from them. We talk about our challenges only once we’ve put them behind us and can celebrate the triumphs.
But what happens when we are in the midst of those struggles? When we’re still burdened by our crosses, still feeling lost, and stepping off into the unknown? Where are the “me too” stories during those times?
I often find myself grappling with the insidious thought that I am alone in my struggles. It’s a lie that tells me no one else can possibly understand what I’m experiencing.
Many meaningful aspects of life are indeed challenging. Parenting can be incredibly demanding. Sustaining a marriage can become tricky, especially when raising young children. Finding time to nurture friendships can feel inconvenient, particularly when geography keeps us apart. Just existing as an adult can be brutally hard.
The most beautiful elements of life—parenting, love, friendship—often come with a certain grit. Pretending they don’t is neither helpful nor truthful. Acknowledging the hard, messy realities doesn’t diminish their beauty or significance. In fact, it can enhance our appreciation of them.
Each day, I am aware of the richness and beauty in my life, even during the tough moments. I am grateful for my children, even when parenting feels like navigating a minefield. I cherish my husband, family, and friends, despite the day-to-day challenges we face and the ways our intentions sometimes get lost in the busyness of life.
Recently, Sarah and I were discussing our plans to meet up. Living roughly 1,000 miles apart and juggling our hectic lives makes connecting difficult. We both agreed that life can be incredibly hard at times. Admitting this can be uncomfortable, especially when we are entrenched in our struggles. We discussed the possibility of planning a girls’ weekend soon.
“Noodle salad!” I texted, referencing a memorable quote from As Good as It Gets. In the film, Jack Nicholson’s character laments the disparity between those with beautiful stories and his own circumstances, which felt lacking. I fondly remember watching that movie nearly two decades ago at my grandparents’ lake house, surrounded by friends, boats, and, of course, noodle salad.
The reality is that life can swing between challenging and beautiful. Sometimes it’s all hard, and other times it’s filled with joy and laughter. Many experiences worth having come with their own set of challenges. Perhaps the real skill lies in creating moments of joy even when we feel like we’re stumbling through the wilderness. Finding a way to enjoy the “noodle salad” moments—whether that means indulging in cookie dough, sipping wine, or confiding in a friend about life’s difficulties—can provide comfort amidst chaos.
In summary, while life presents its challenges, it is also filled with beauty and connection. Embracing the hard moments as part of the human experience can lead to a deeper appreciation for the joyful ones.
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