It’s tough to admit that I’m not the perfect parent. It’s easier to put on a façade and act like I have everything under control. But the reality is, I don’t — not at all, not even occasionally. Imagine how much harder it would be to watch my children struggle with their mental health because we didn’t have open discussions about it.
Over the past few years, I’ve worked hard to manage my high-functioning anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Recognizing these issues was just the beginning; the real challenge lies in being open about how difficult it is to seek help — a journey that seems never-ending for me. Sharing these experiences is not only essential for my own healing; it’s also my hope that by talking about mental health every day, I can help reduce the stigma for my kids. We aim to discuss mental health just as openly as we do physical health, because mental health is just as important.
Making Mental Health Conversations a Daily Habit
One night, my daughter asked, “Mom, do you get headaches every single day?” as she watched me take my medication.
“No, sweetheart. Why do you ask?” I replied.
“Because I see you taking medicine all the time,” she said.
This moment prompted me to prioritize mental health talks as an integral part of our daily routine. Growing up, mental health was rarely discussed. It wasn’t my parents’ fault; no one around us talked about it either. We were often told to just grin and bear it, or to keep our problems to ourselves.
I didn’t even realize my father was managing his anxiety and depression with medication until I was well into adulthood. If I had known earlier, it might have changed how I approached my own struggles, and I wouldn’t have spent years suffering in silence, thinking I was just too weak or emotional.
Now, I strive to be proactive. My children know I attend therapy and take medication to be the best mom I can be. We openly discuss our mental health and feelings, no matter how challenging they may be.
Even though my children are still young, it’s never too early for them to recognize their emotions. They are learning the importance of acknowledging difficult feelings and understanding that sometimes, seeking help is necessary. My oldest child, who is 10, once asked if she could go to therapy because “my heart just feels sad. You always seem calmer after therapy, and I want to feel that way too.” It took me decades to reach such self-awareness, so knowing my daughter feels safe discussing her emotions makes me believe I must be doing something right.
Embracing Vulnerability
I take pride in discussing the realities that many face daily. My feelings about being one of those who struggles are complex: while I don’t feel ashamed, I sometimes worry about being perceived as a failure as a parent. I want to embody strength and resilience; I wish to feel “normal.”
But I am not a failure. Addressing these conversations, no matter how difficult, shows true strength. I am resilient. While I’ve experienced trauma, I refuse to let it define me.
Recognizing that my mental health struggles don’t diminish my worth or my capabilities as a mother is a significant victory. However, my greatest achievement is breaking the cycle of stigma around my children’s mental health. They know they can approach me about their feelings without fear of judgment. That’s the first step toward treating mental health with the same importance as physical health.
I won’t lie; I don’t always look forward to discussing why I take medication or attend therapy with my kids. Yet, I can honestly say I have never regretted those conversations, not even once.
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Summary
In our home, daily conversations about mental health have become essential. By openly discussing our feelings and the challenges we face, we break down the stigma associated with mental health issues. This proactive approach allows my children to feel safe expressing their emotions, promoting their well-being and understanding of mental health.
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