Avoiding Hurtful Remarks
Your words can have a significant impact on someone going through IVF. Often, in an effort to be supportive, friends and colleagues may inadvertently say things that are distressing. It’s essential to remember that those undergoing IVF are in a highly vulnerable state. Comments that seem harmless to you can lead to unnecessary anxiety for them.
For instance, someone might respond to your friend’s struggle with an offhand remark about a distant relative who got pregnant after adopting. Such anecdotes can lead to unrealistic expectations and feelings of inadequacy. Infertility doesn’t equate to sterility, and while some couples eventually conceive, it often takes years, leaving others without the same outcome.
Here are some common phrases to avoid:
- “Just try to relax.” This well-meaning advice can feel dismissive when anxiety runs high due to the stakes involved.
- “Have you heard about so-and-so?” Stories of miraculous pregnancies can be frustrating and may imply that your friend hasn’t tried hard enough.
- “Have you considered…?” Suggestions like acupuncture can come off as pressure to explore every option, which can feel overwhelming.
- “You still have time.” While fertility can vary, this comment can overlook personal circumstances like age or financial limits.
- “It’ll happen if it’s meant to be.” Such statements can be insensitive and dismissive of the real challenges faced.
Instead, consider offering supportive phrases like:
- “I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.” Acknowledging their struggles can mean a lot.
- “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.” Validating their feelings without comparisons can be comforting.
- “I’m here to listen.” Sometimes, just being present can be the best support.
- “How can I help?” Offering specific options can make it easier for them to accept assistance.
One of the most compassionate things someone said to me during my IVF journey was from a doctor who recognized the weight of my worries. His comment allowed me to feel the full extent of my emotions without self-blame.
If you’re interested in more insights on this topic, check out our other blog post here, and for further reading on home insemination resources, visit Kindbody as they provide excellent information.
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In summary, being mindful of what you say to a friend undergoing IVF is crucial. Supportive and empathetic communication can make a meaningful difference during this challenging time.
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