Indicators It’s Time for Couples Therapy

Coupledom: 4 Indicators You Should Consider Couples Counseling

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Seeking help for relationship issues often happens only during a crisis. However, it can be beneficial to explore therapy if you notice any of these subtle warning signs. By Jessica G. Hartfield Updated: Feb. 20, 2024

You and your partner may have kids together because of your love for each other, but nothing can challenge your patience and positivity like parenting. This journey lasts for decades, and to remain a strong couple, engaging in couples counseling might be a wise choice.

Prioritizing the health of your relationship isn’t a drastic move. Think of it as a race car that can’t keep up its speed without a pit stop. If you ignore the need for maintenance, you risk running into bigger problems down the line.

There are various obstacles that prevent people from seeking help. First is the uncomfortable moment when one partner suggests, “maybe we should see someone.” This doesn’t mean you’re abnormal; many couples will have sought therapy by the time their children reach high school. Next, finding the right therapist is easier now, especially with the rise of online counseling options. Lastly, while there’s a cost involved, investing in your relationship is typically less expensive than a separation.

If you haven’t reached a breaking point—no threats of leaving or infidelity—what are the signs that your relationship might need some attention?

1. Diminishing Intimacy
   Your sex life may be dwindling. It’s common to attribute this to parenting, but Raquel Johnson, a licensed clinical psychotherapist, notes that this can also occur in childless couples. “Intimacy is a communication tool,” she explains, and communication can falter in any relationship over time. A therapist can help uncover any hidden resentments or fears that are affecting your intimacy.
2. Lack of Communication
   It’s not just about fighting; sometimes couples simply stop engaging in meaningful conversations, reducing their interactions to mundane topics like errands and meal planning. A skilled therapist can help you break free from this routine and enhance communication. Often, one partner may hesitate to express frustrations or desires due to fear of conflict. A therapist fosters a safe environment for open dialogue, allowing for healing and understanding.
3. Repetitive Arguments
   If old grievances keep resurfacing, it often indicates deeper issues of shame, guilt, or anger that haven’t been resolved. A therapist can help you recognize that harsh words stem from disappointment and guide you towards resolution.
4. Emotional Disconnection
   If you find yourself emotionally drawn to someone outside your partnership, it’s crucial to reflect on what this says about your relationship. If you’re eager to share good news with someone other than your partner, it might be time to consider couples counseling to reconnect with your significant other.

Ultimately, it’s true that maintaining a relationship requires hard work. While this may have seemed like a cliché during the passionate early days, the realities of parenthood can reveal the need for dedicated effort in your partnership. Embrace this journey of adulting together.

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