While it’s nearly impossible not to notice your daughter’s beauty, it’s essential to recognize that her worth extends far beyond her looks. As a parent, you want to ensure she understands her value in a world that often emphasizes physical appearance.
Society tends to place a heavy emphasis on a woman’s looks, and even those who have embraced body positivity may still want their daughters to appreciate their beauty. However, merely telling her she’s pretty or smart may inadvertently lead her to believe her worth is tied solely to those attributes. “I emphasize praising children for their efforts,” says Sarah Mitchell, a mother and clinical psychologist. “When we focus on traits like ‘pretty’ or ‘smart,’ it can create a mindset where children feel they only matter if they meet those standards. Instead, celebrating their efforts promotes a growth mindset and encourages them to take pride in trying their best.”
That said, it’s not about avoiding compliments on appearance altogether, as confidence in a looks-oriented society is important. When complimenting your child’s appearance, focus on aspects they can control, like their clothing choices or hairstyles. “I usually compliment my daughters on their creativity when they choose an outfit or hairstyle,” Sarah shares. “For instance, I might say, ‘You really put thought into that outfit; it looks great!’ or ‘I noticed how much effort you put into styling your hair!’” This approach emphasizes the effort involved in personal expression.
Ultimately, while your daughter will undoubtedly receive compliments on her beauty throughout her life, it’s crucial that she also hears about her other valuable traits. You are a vital source of encouragement in her life, so ensure she recognizes her many strengths and accomplishments.
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Summary
Complimenting your daughter should go beyond her physical appearance. Focus on praising her efforts and achievements, fostering a mindset of growth and self-worth that isn’t solely tied to looks. Your encouragement is essential in helping her recognize her unique value.
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