How I Navigated the Chaos of Sleep Training While My Baby Cries
My son’s middle name is Morpheus, inspired by the deity of sleep and dreams. (Truth be told, we picked it after spotting a poster for The Matrix on our way to the hospital. Laurence Fishburne, you’re a legend.) Unfortunately, our little Morpheus didn’t sleep through the night until he was 14 months old. Living in a one-bedroom apartment in NYC, my attempts at sleep training mostly involved dousing myself in an industrial-sized bottle of perfume to mask my scent while my baby wailed just five feet away. I also tried a “Slumber Pod,” a tent-like contraption for the crib, hoping to convince him he was on a peaceful adventure in the great outdoors.
Fast forward to baby number two, and sleep training was back on my mind. At around six months, we opted for a version of the Ferber method—allowing our daughter to cry for longer intervals before I’d go in briefly to reassure her I was still around. For those moms out there who, like me, can’t say, “Oh, it was easy; she just started sleeping at two months!” here are ten tips to help you through this challenging phase.
- Utilize That Noise Machine for YOU
Many parents invest in a portable noise machine (we loved the Rohm) to replicate the comforting sounds from the womb. If it helps your baby, it can help you too. Turn it up, and you might find yourself dozing off before it’s time for a Ferber check. This trick is also handy if you have a snoring partner who seems oblivious to the cries, saving you from the temptation to hurl a pillow at their head. - Indulge in a Relaxing Bath
Pour in half a bag of lavender Epsom salts, let the soothing water drown out the baby’s cries, and take a moment to appreciate your incredible body—the one that nurtured this tiny human. I often use this time to gently massage my C-section scar, feeling grateful for the safe delivery of my 10-pound breech baby. - Explore Audio Erotica
If you’re going to listen to screams, they might as well be entertaining! Although sexy thoughts may be far from your mind as a tired parent, listening to something like Audio Desires can provide a brief escape. Their 10 to 20-minute scenarios are perfect for a quick distraction, allowing you to return to bed once things settle down. - Catch an Episode of Your Favorite Show
A 22-minute sitcom can outlast a crying baby while offering a comforting dose of nostalgia. Personally, I’d recommend Frasier. The humor is a welcome distraction, especially during prolonged crying fits. For longer bouts, consider a 52-minute dramedy like The Great—perfect for binge-watching while your little one cries. - Snack Time!
Just because you’re training your baby to sleep through the night, doesn’t mean you should starve yourself. If you’re in the city, consider ordering from a 24-hour diner. A special request for some non-baby chatter at the door can make the wait a bit more pleasant. - Read About Terrible Parents
While your little one’s cries might be hard to ignore, reading about truly awful parenting in books like Matilda, Hamlet, or Carrie can be oddly reassuring. Knowing that letting your baby cry for a bit doesn’t make you the worst parent ever can be comforting. - Throw a Silent Rave
Ever wanted to experience a rave in an abandoned Brooklyn warehouse? Now’s your chance! Slip on your headphones and dance to your favorite tunes like Sam Smith’s How Do You Sleep, all while keeping a close eye on your baby through the monitor. - Scroll Through Baby Photos
While this might lead to tears of a different kind—especially if you’re breastfeeding—the combination of your baby’s cries and an adorable peekaboo photo could remind you of the joy they bring. - Express Yourself Creatively
Even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, writing or drawing can be a great way to release pent-up emotions. No one has to see your work, and even a simple stick figure of your future teenager can provide some comic relief. - Embrace Clichés
Remind yourself, “this too shall pass.” As every well-meaning passerby loves to say, “Enjoy this time; it goes by so fast!” If only that were true during phases like the infamous nipple-biting stage.
Ultimately, unless there are medical issues at play, your child will eventually stop crying. Then you can sink into your pillow for a brief moment of peace before remembering there’s another little one waiting for you at your bedside, declaring, “Mama, I did a poo.”
If you’re looking for more tips on navigating parenthood, check out this post for some additional insights.
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