For over a decade, I shared a special bond with my 90-year-old grandmother, indulging in Regency romance novels together. We began with the innocent tales of Georgette Heyer but soon delved into the more risqué selections often labeled as “bodice rippers.” Even if you’re not a fan yourself, you may have noticed these novels, their vivid covers promising passion, while browsing the aisles of a drugstore or grocery store. We exchanged hundreds of these stories until she passed away in 2020 at nearly 101 years old. My dad jokingly referred to me as her “dealer,” as I would bring her bags full of books, which she would return to me after reading—too embarrassed to donate them to her retirement home library.
I often called her to discuss her latest reads, which prompted her to reflect on her own life and relationships. She insisted she didn’t read for the steamy scenes because “that button doesn’t work anymore, dear,” but rather for the insightful portrayal of family and romance. We spent hours analyzing characters’ aspirations, failures, and the lessons they held for her life. These novels provided a channel through which she shared nearly a century of experiences.
But for those of us still engaged with our sexuality, the intimate scenes are enjoyable too. While often critiqued as misogynistic, modern Regency romance has evolved to embrace female empowerment and feminist ideals. Many of these tales feature men who prioritize their partners’ pleasure. For a deeper understanding of how the romance genre champions equitable relationships, check out Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels.
Imagine my excitement when Bridgerton, based on Julia Quinn’s fantastic book series and produced by Shonda Rhimes—known for her strong female characters—premiered on Netflix in late 2020. I believed it would capture the essence of both passion and feminism.
Then I watched the series with my 13-year-old daughter. We reached the pivotal moment where Daphne Bridgerton loses her virginity to the Duke of Hastings, and I was taken aback. My shock was not from the explicit nature of the scene or Daphne’s loss of virginity, but from the portrayal of her experiencing an orgasm simply because her husband penetrated her.
I paused the show, turning to my daughter and asking, “What did they just show us?” She calmly responded, “Daphne having an orgasm.” I pressed further: “Yes, but what did he need to find for her to truly reach that orgasm?” My daughter, with a tone that suggested she was done with this conversation, replied, “Her clitoris.”
I felt a wave of relief. My parenting efforts had paid off—she understood the anatomy and the reality of female pleasure. Although she was visibly embarrassed, she knew the truth about sex education, which is all I could hope for.
However, I couldn’t shake my frustration. What about all the other young women watching that scene and thinking that’s how sex should be? It perpetuates a false narrative that sex is silent and graceful, which is simply untrue. Positive portrayals of inexperienced sex should capture the awkwardness and humor inherent in two bodies coming together for the first time. My grandmother understood this well.
As Season 2 of Bridgerton releases this weekend, I hope to see a better representation of feminist ideals in the sex life portrayed in the show. Next time I hit pause during our at-home sex education session, I want it to be to highlight what they got right, not what they missed. And oh, how I wish I could share this moment with my Nana.
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Summary:
In this article, Jessica Larkins reflects on her experience with Bridgerton and its portrayal of sex education, contrasting it with her own upbringing in Regency romance literature. She discusses the importance of accurate representations of female pleasure and the awkwardness of first sexual experiences. As the anticipation builds for the new season, she hopes for improved depictions of feminist ideals.
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