My Child and I Sampled 7 Varieties of Pizza Snacks—Here’s Our Unfiltered Take!

When it comes to pizza, who can resist? Even as someone with lactose intolerance, I find myself grabbing a Lactaid and treating myself to a slice now and then, consequences be damned. But what if you’re in the mood for something pizza-flavored without the full-blown pie? My adventurous sidekick—my 11-year-old son—and I explored a mix of classic and new pizza-inspired snacks. Here’s what we discovered, along with our candid and entirely unprofessional opinions on snacks that vaguely resemble pizza.

Totino’s Pizza Rolls

These are the ultimate pizza snack. The package boasts “New! Air-Fryability.” I don’t own an air fryer (should I?), so I baked them in the oven instead. They taste just as I remembered. Despite being an adult, I still managed to burn my mouth on one. My son devoured them quickly, likely because they were a fun new experience for him.

Is it nutritious? They contain 5 grams of protein and just 3 grams of sugar per serving.

Bottom line: How does it taste? A mix of nostalgia and cardboard.

Hot Pockets Premium Pepperoni Pizza with Reduced Fat Mozzarella Cheese in a Seasoned Garlic Buttery Crust

That’s quite a mouthful, Hot Pockets! As comedian Jim Gaffigan puts it, “I’ve never eaten a Hot Pocket and thought, ‘I’m so glad I did that.’” They didn’t remind me of real pizza, but my son rated them an 8 out of 10. Don’t worry, I do feed him healthy food too (though at his last checkup, I braced myself for him to say he was testing pizza snacks with me).

Is it nutritious? LOL.

Bottom line: How does it taste? I’d eat it if starving.

Annie’s Cheese Pizza Shells with Hidden Vegetables

As a fan of both mac and cheese and pizza, my son was intrigued. His verdict? “It’s good for a quick snack.” I thought it tasted like someone mixed canned tomatoes into frozen mac and cheese.

Is it nutritious? It has veggies!

Bottom line: How does it taste? Not as good as real pizza or mac and cheese, but not awful.

Baozza

Baozza? More like Wow-za! These microwaveable bao (steamed dumplings) filled with pizza ingredients are surprisingly delightful. My son exclaimed, “These are amazing! Ten out of ten. Can we get more?” We tried the Margherita and Cheesy Spinach flavors, but they also come in BBQ Chicken, Italian Sausage, and Pepperoni.

Is it nutritious? Not exactly health food.

Bottom line: How does it taste? I want to thank the inventor of these while savoring the flavor.

Pizza Flavored Pringles

Moving to room-temperature snacks, we sampled Pizza Flavored Pringles. My son was impressed, stating, “Holy crap, these are good.” They don’t taste exactly like pizza, but they have that classic Pringles crunch, making us put the can away to avoid overindulging.

Is it nutritious? Surprisingly low in sodium—just 180 mg per serving.

Bottom line: How does it taste? Pringles are engineered to taste great, and they do.

Goldfish Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheesy Pizza

“Flavor blasted” and “Xtra Cheesy” seem a bit exaggerated. They taste like regular Goldfish, just a tad less bland. My son thought they were “fine.”

Is it nutritious? A serving size is 51 pieces at only 140 calories.

Bottom line: How does it taste? Like someone you vaguely remember from high school sending you a friend request.

Combos Pizzeria Baked Pretzels

I generally love stuffed pretzels, but my son’s friend even declined to try these, suggesting I just make homemade pizza instead (he was promptly shown the door). My son thought they were good, but he didn’t ask for seconds, which means I’ve been enjoying these salty snacks solo.

Is it nutritious? Not much redeeming value except for being low in fat.

Bottom line: How does it taste? Salty.

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In summary, we tried seven different pizza snacks, ranging from nostalgic favorites to intriguing newcomers. While some snacks hit the mark better than others, our overall experience was a delicious adventure.