My Child Chose Not to Attend College: Here’s How I Came to Terms with It

Letting go of personal expectations and fears.

By Jamie Thompson

When my eldest child started high school, it became abundantly clear that he had a strong aversion to the academic environment. He expressed little interest in following the conventional route of going to college after graduation. Convincing him to complete the necessary coursework to earn his diploma was a monumental challenge for me.

This situation was incredibly difficult. My former partner and I both earned our Bachelor’s Degrees, and we naturally assumed our children would follow suit. I had a fulfilling college experience that opened numerous professional doors for me. Writing and literature were my passions, and I was fortunate enough to build a career around my degree. I wanted the same opportunities for my kids and worried that my son would face limitations without a college education—despite knowing many of my peers from Generation X pursued careers unrelated to their studies and are still burdened by student debt.

Hearing that my child didn’t want to attend college felt like a punch to the gut. I was concerned about the stigma attached to his decision. What would others think? Would they blame me for not encouraging him to pursue higher education?

However, once I gave him the freedom to make his own choices and watched him thrive, my fears began to dissipate. He decided to pursue a trade and is currently enjoying a successful career as a plumber. I felt apprehensive at first, but eventually, I found peace with his decision. Here are some strategies that helped me cope:

1. It’s Their Journey, Not Yours.

Every parent wants the best for their children. We often believe that this means providing them with the same opportunities we had or granting them chances we never had. I had to remind myself that my son is his own person. He has different interests, learning styles, and life experiences than I do. I want to support who he is, not who I envision he should be.

2. They Can Always Return to School Later.

Many young people need time to understand what they want before committing to college. I know a woman who graduated high school in 2000 and recently completed her degree in dental hygiene. She is incredibly happy she waited.

3. Forcing Them Could Backfire.

I recall numerous students at my college who were there against their will. They were unhappy and felt they weren’t living their own lives, burdened by the expectations of their parents.

4. A College Degree Isn’t the Only Path to Success.

There are countless career opportunities that don’t require a degree. For example, I know a woman who is a self-taught hairstylist with a thriving salon that has a six-month waitlist. My cousin enlisted in the military, and my son is training in plumbing, which will provide him with a solid and rewarding income. The possibilities are vast, and success doesn’t hinge on having a degree.

5. It Grants Them the Freedom to Choose.

It’s reassuring that these fulfilling careers often come without the burden of student loans, allowing them to explore other paths without financial anxiety—unlike many of my friends who are still grappling with their college debts.

Hearing your child express disinterest in college can be heartbreaking. However, it’s crucial to remember that this is about their future and their choices. It’s our responsibility as parents to support their decisions.

If you’re seeking more information on related topics, check out this blog post, which provides additional insights.

To learn more about home insemination and parenting resources, visit Make a Mom and Parents, excellent resources for those on this journey.

Probable Search Queries:

In summary, while it may be challenging to accept your child’s choice not to attend college, recognizing their individuality and supporting their journey can lead to mutual growth and satisfaction. Each path is unique, and success comes in many forms.