I finally have a solid answer for the question I get bombarded with daily – “When will you have that baby?” The response is simple: Four days from now! It might happen sooner, but without a doubt, it will happen within four days. This is because my doctor has scheduled my induction for that day, which is the one glimmer of hope that keeps me from retreating to a remote cave until my son finally arrives.
This is my first (and likely only) pregnancy, and I must say, it has been quite the struggle. While I know some people cherish this experience—I’ve even met a woman who adored every moment—I can’t wrap my mind around that perspective. My strong dislike for being pregnant only becomes more puzzling when I attempt to rationalize it.
No, I haven’t suffered from morning sickness or any other type of illness.
No, it hasn’t been an unusually hot summer.
No, I’m not going through this alone; my partner, his family, my family, and all our friends have been incredibly supportive. My husband, in particular, deserves a medal for his patience. So, that’s not the issue either.
And yes, I will love my son when he arrives. That distinction is crucial. Do I enjoy being pregnant? Absolutely not. Do I love my son and will I continue to love him after birth? Yes, without a doubt.
Since my pregnancy became visible, the influx of unsolicited questions, advice, and horror stories has been overwhelming. In the last few weeks, however, these inquiries have triggered a new, unsettling reaction in me, turning a simple grocery store visit into a potential minefield. Before I set my induction date, when someone asked, “When are you due?” I felt like I was spiraling.
It seemed like a lifetime away, impossibly distant. Each day required me to negotiate a fragile peace with the fact that it likely wouldn’t be today, just to get out of bed. And then, here comes a stranger reminding me of how much longer I still had to endure!
I would immediately go on the defensive, making it hard to respond appropriately with answers like “August 4th.” Instead, I found myself blurting out snarky responses such as “Who the heck knows?” or “Not soon enough.” Once, in the cereal aisle, I just froze, leaving the poor inquirer awkwardly contemplating either “What just happened?” or “Does she really not know she’s nine months along?”
Now, however, with my induction date in sight, I can cheerfully announce, “On or before July 28th!” And I can say it with a genuine smile! But surprisingly, this joyful news is often met with an unexpected wave of judgment. “Oh, you’re inducing? That’s not advisable.” To which I say, yes, yes I absolutely want to induce!
It seems there’s a stigma surrounding induction that I was previously unaware of, implying that I’m selfish or that I don’t care about my child’s well-being. (Did I mention I consulted my doctor, a professional who specializes in these decisions?) While I anticipated some disapproval, I was taken aback by how widespread it seemed. Hello, do you see the smile on my face? Clearly, I’m happy about this; why rain on my parade?
So here I am, just four days away from the moment I’ll meet my son, the day I’ll no longer be pregnant, and yes, the day I’ll be inducing. I’ve removed myself from public spaces; I’m not going to work or going out. I’m staying home and clinging to the calendar for dear life. Because come July 28th, it will all be over, and you bet I’m inducing.
For those considering similar paths, I encourage you to explore resources like WebMD for pregnancy and home insemination information, as well as Make a Mom’s CryoBaby for options like at-home insemination kits, and the BabyMaker for a comprehensive self-insemination experience.
In summary, pregnancy can be a complicated journey filled with mixed emotions, societal pressures, and personal decisions. Ultimately, it’s essential to focus on what feels right for you and your family as you prepare for the arrival of your child.
Leave a Reply