What to Do When You Feel Like You’re Losing Control

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Navigating Those Explosive Moments in Parenting

Written by Jamie Clarke
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: April 14, 2022

“I’m about to throw this iPad out the window!” I shouted one typical Monday evening, my voice echoing through the neighborhood. Ironically, I’m a therapist trained to help others manage their emotions, but in that moment, I was completely overwhelmed.

Before you judge me as unqualified to offer advice, let me explain. It was about 6 PM, that notorious time when children are cranky and parents are worn out. My husband was at work, leaving me to handle the chaos alone. After a long weekend, my kids were exhausted. My 4-year-old was throwing a tantrum over the “gross” dinner I had prepared, and I was running on fumes after a full day of client sessions.

My daughters, ages 6 and 7, often oscillate between best friends and fierce rivals. On this particular night, they were arguing over the iPad yet again. When one of them let out a piercing scream, I felt the adrenaline surge through me, and before I knew it, I had lost my temper. My youngest two burst into tears, while my oldest stared at me in confusion and concern, whispering, “Mommy?” I realized I wasn’t the only one caught off guard by my outburst.

As a parent who used to be calm and collected, the emotional upheaval of motherhood can be striking. Sometimes, my reactions are quicker than my thoughts. The silver lining is that I’ve become quite adept at apologizing, thanks to the challenges of pandemic parenting. I apologized, they forgave me, and we moved on, as life tends to do.

The reality is that no matter how equipped we feel to parent, or how much we understand child development and emotional management, we are still human — prone to reactions and mistakes. Every parent faces challenges, regardless of their background or expertise. We live in a fast-paced world filled with uncertainty, often without the support we need, especially women who frequently carry the burden of parenting alone.

Yet, despite the exhaustion and overwhelm, we are also strong, resilient, and capable of remarkable things. Motherhood teaches us to embrace the complexities of life; we can love our children fiercely while also feeling overwhelmed by their demands. We can find joy in being mothers while recognizing our own need for personal time. Making mistakes is part of the journey — what’s important is how we repair those moments and learn from them.

Affirmations to Help You Through Explosive Moments

  1. “Deep breaths are essential for moms.”
    When chaos erupts, take a few moments to breathe deeply. This classic advice is effective for a reason. In times of high stress, deep inhalations and longer exhalations can calm your nervous system. It may prevent you from turning into a “momster.”
  2. “It’s okay to feel what I feel.”
    All emotions are valid and acknowledging them is crucial. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed when faced with the demands of parenting.
  3. “I will not neglect my own needs.”
    Constantly prioritizing everyone else can lead to burnout. It’s vital to carve out time for yourself to recharge. Explore your interests and rediscover who you are beyond being a mom.

For more insights into navigating the complexities of parenthood, be sure to check out this other blog post and to learn more about practical tools for home insemination, visit Make a Mom, an authority on the subject. For additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic offers excellent information.

Summary

In parenting, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, especially during chaotic moments. Acknowledging your feelings and taking time to breathe can help manage stress. Remember that mistakes are part of the journey, and it’s essential to prioritize your needs as a parent. Embrace the complexities of motherhood while remaining true to yourself.

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