Oh No, My Child Is Just as Headstrong as I Am: A Tug-of-War

Oh No, My Child Is Just as Headstrong as I Am

And then it hit me: I was losing a showdown with a pint-sized version of myself.

By Alex Morgan
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: April 19, 2022

I could feel her gaze piercing through me. That stare was so intense, it felt like daggers aimed straight at my heart. My sweet little five-year-old had turned against me. For what seemed like the fourth hour, I pleaded with her to finish her dinner.

“I don’t like it,” she hissed through her tiny teeth, arms crossed, pouting, kicking the table, glaring at me from beneath her bouncy curls.

“Where on earth could she have picked this up?” I thought in frustration. I mimicked her stance, crossing my arms and shooting back a glare. And then I chuckled. Here I was, losing a fight to a mini-me. I sighed, walked over, and planted a kiss on her still-pouting little head. She had certainly inherited her stubbornness from the best.

We’ve all heard the warnings from our own parents: Just wait until you have kids. But I never imagined that my beautiful little bundle of joy would grow into such a sassy diva within just five years. I thought kids morphed into their parents in their thirties, not so soon.

From early on, I noticed a striking resemblance between my children and myself. Most days, I cherish it; it’s like having a little built-in buddy. But clashing with your own reflection can be utterly maddening at times.

I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids until I met my partner. After that, I dreamed of having a mini version of him running around. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened with our son. He’s a walking, talking replica of his dad: kind, smart, and compassionate, yet sometimes pessimistic and too hard on himself. My daughter, on the other hand, is loving and dramatic, with a will of her own. They both share that stubborn streak, and like their parents, they often use humor to diffuse tense situations. It’s hard not to laugh with them when they’re trying to wiggle their way out of trouble.

Parenting is challenging enough, but it becomes even trickier when you have strong personalities to contend with. It’s even worse when they point out that you’re acting just like them. For example, I often raise my voice when stressed, only to have them remind me not to shout. Yet, strangely enough, that moment of acknowledgment often leads to silence.

Although the journey hasn’t been easy, I’ve learned to take a step back in these moments and ask myself two crucial questions: What is this child upset about? And if I were in their shoes, what would I want? The upside of facing a mini-me is that, if you’re self-aware, you know how to navigate the situation.

I’ve discovered that my son needs calm and reassurance, much like his father. He responds better to a gentle voice. As a child, I craved physical comfort, needing hugs or warmth when upset. When my daughter is in the midst of a tantrum, I wait until she calms down and then open my arms for a hug. It’s almost funny how her desire for comfort mirrors my own.

Of course, just as I think I have it figured out, the landscape changes with their next birthdays. My friends have been kindly warning me about the pre-teen phase that my son will soon enter, laughing as they recall how they thought they had it tough before. “Bigger kids, bigger problems,” they say. “Great,” I think, while ensuring I keep my coffee supply stocked.

Alex Morgan is a wife and mother of two, residing in the metro Detroit area. She works as a physical therapist and enjoys reading, baking, and writing in her spare time. Check out her blog for more insights into the world of parenting.

For more on this topic, you can explore our other blog post here. If you’re looking for guidance on your journey, check out Make a Mom, an authority on this subject. For excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination, visit March of Dimes.

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Summary:

In this article, a mother reflects on the stubbornness of her five-year-old daughter, recognizing it as a mirror of her own traits. She shares anecdotes about parenting challenges and lessons learned in navigating her children’s personalities, particularly the similarities they share. Through humor and self-awareness, she finds ways to connect with and understand her kids, all while preparing for the next stages of their growth.

Oh No, My Child Is Just as Headstrong as I Am: A Tug-of-War