Every day brings a new shower struggle as I spend 20 minutes battling with my two daughters’ hair, which is beautiful yet incredibly different. If you’ve ever been a mom of tweens, you know the challenge: their bodies are changing, they’re eager to assert their independence, and yet, they still need help with their haircare—whether they like it or not. In my home, this leads to pure chaos.
One daughter hops out of the shower only to be sent back in because she still has product clinging to her hair. No matter how much dry shampoo or conditioner I use, her hair always seems to have a greasy sheen. I’ve explained countless times that over-washing can be just as detrimental as not washing at all, but my words often go unheard. This battle repeats itself every shower time. Thankfully, she’s the easier one of the two.
Her sister, however, presents a stark contrast. Despite my gentle shampooing and diligent conditioning, combing and drying her hair turns into an epic showdown each time. It often looks like she’s been through a car wash, with her hair tangled and knotted beyond belief. I find myself perplexed over how this even happens—or how to fix it.
Managing each daughter’s hair (and their emotional reactions) is a feat in itself, especially since they have such different hair types: one has thick, full hair that’s prone to dandruff, while the other sports fine, wavy, easily tangled locks. So, what’s a mom to do? Here’s what I’ve found works (well enough to get us out the door) for our haircare routine.
The Fundamentals
While the basics of shampooing and conditioning are generally known, it’s clear that one approach doesn’t fit all. I could use my hair products on my kids, but their hair has different requirements.
I’ve colored and highlighted my hair for over 17 years, and though my shampoo could technically work for them, it wouldn’t provide the healthiest outcome for their hair and scalp. “One thing I really wish moms knew about their tweens (and teens) is the appropriate amounts of products to use. Many kids come in with build-up from using too much product or not rinsing properly,” says hair stylist Jenna L.
Essential Products
Some of these products might seem obvious, but let’s make sure we cover all bases to keep haircare from becoming a hair-pulling situation.
- Shampoo: Your kids likely don’t need the heavy-duty, hydrating products you use, but it’s crucial to read labels. Cleaner formulas generally support better hair and scalp health. Jenna emphasizes that “washing hair is VERY important. While there’s a movement against shampooing, using a quality shampoo and giving the scalp a good scrub is essential for skin and scalp health!”
- Conditioners: Who doesn’t love silky smooth hair? However, it’s vital to apply the right amount of conditioner in the right spots. With the hormonal shifts your tween is experiencing, overapplying conditioner at the roots can lead to greasy hair by 2 PM.
- Detanglers and Wet Brushes: I can’t count how many times my fine-haired daughter has had meltdowns over brushing out tangles after a shower. Utilizing a detangler and a wet brush has been a lifesaver for both her and me. Detangler is self-explanatory, while a wet brush assists in gently combing through tangled hair.
- Scrub Brushes: This nifty tool is a game changer for my tweens as they begin washing their own hair. It’s just a small scrubber with flexible bristles designed for stimulating the scalp while ensuring a thorough rinse. “If parents feel their kid’s hair isn’t getting clean enough, consider using a scrubber. It also helps with those forehead pimples that appear along the hairline due to excess oil,” Jenna advises.
While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these essentials have dramatically improved our haircare routine. As my daughters gain independence, teaching them how to care for their hair is an important step. After all, hair can be a fantastic medium for self-expression and creativity.
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In summary, instilling proper hair-washing techniques in children is crucial for their self-care and hygiene. By understanding their unique hair needs and using the right products, you can simplify the often tumultuous haircare process and empower them to take charge of their grooming.
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