For the first time ever, my daughter will celebrate her birthday away from home. No one prepared me for this reality.
It’s 2:30 A.M., and here I am, wide awake. You might assume I have a crying infant or a restless toddler, but you’d be mistaken. My nearly three-year-old is sound asleep, thanks to some effective sleep training at just four months old. Instead, I find myself awake, anxious about something no one warned me about. There’s no guidebook, no trendy course, and certainly no podcast discussing this. I’m lying here, tears streaming down my face, thinking about my daughter, who is still just 17—my baby—and her imminent departure for college.
I have a two-year-old who has only just begun preschool, and a 17-year-old senior in high school. I welcomed my daughter, Mia, into the world when I was quite young. The ink on my college diploma had barely dried when I discovered I was pregnant. Her biological father left me when I was five months along, and I found myself in a precarious situation—no finances, no support. I was a hopeful actress and worked as a waitress, laboring behind the scenes until my pregnancy made it difficult to keep my balance. Thankfully, my compassionate manager allowed me to transition to a hostess role to keep my health insurance.
After Mia was born, I was determined to be the mother I never had. Before her arrival, I had dreams of becoming an actress, moving to Hollywood, and falling in love with a movie star. Those dreams faded as I embraced the most significant role of my life: motherhood.
Mia’s early years were challenging, as one might expect for a single mother. But the love I felt for her was fierce, and I always prioritized her needs above my own. Mia showed me the true meaning of unconditional love, joy, and forgiveness. She helped me learn the importance of apologizing and acknowledging my mistakes. She became my guiding light, my North Star, embodying everything good in my life.
As a mother, I was strict. I didn’t tolerate backtalk, and if I saw a frown on her face, I would quickly ask her to turn it upside down. I wasn’t the “cool” mom; I knew Mia needed a parent, not a friend. I packed her lunches daily, drove her to school, and never missed any events. I made sure to tell her I loved her frequently, hoping that if she ever doubted it, my words would echo in her mind.
Over the years, as our lives evolved, so did our relationship. I eventually became a full-time actress and found my prince charming, who adopted Mia as soon as we wed. We welcomed our son, Leo, into the world in 2019, and I can honestly say that I am living my dream. Mia has transformed into my best friend—the one who knows me better than anyone else, the one who can read my mind. While we share DNA, our bond is the strongest I’ve ever known. And now, she’s leaving.
Mia is set to attend Northwestern University in Chicago, while we reside in Los Angeles. I’m incredibly proud of her, but a part of me is heartbroken. I have nurtured an extraordinary child, witnessing her growth and maturity in astonishing ways. In just a few months, she’ll be 18—a legal adult—an age when I could finally embrace the “cool” mom persona. But instead, she’ll be away at college. For the first time, she will wake up on her birthday in a place that isn’t our home. No one prepared me for this moment, the one where they gather their belongings and start their own lives, leaving you at home, staring at the ceiling at 2:30 A.M.
So here’s my warning to you, dear readers: the day will come when you must send your children off into the world. It will be difficult. Tears will flow as you catch a glimpse of the baby you once held, making it feel too soon to let them go. In those moments, remember that you raised them with love and kindness. Be proud of your sacrifices and sleepless nights. You’ve done well.
Now, I can only hope that Mia calls me during her new college adventure. Until then, I’ll be in the kitchen, preparing school lunches for my two-year-old, mentally bracing myself for when he too takes flight.
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Summary
This heartfelt reflection dives into the bittersweet reality of preparing to send a child off to college, capturing the emotional turmoil of a mother realizing her daughter will soon celebrate her birthday away from home. The author, who transitioned from a single mother to a successful actress, reflects on her journey, her bond with her daughter, and the inevitable changes that come with growing up. As she navigates these feelings, she reminds other parents to take pride in their efforts and cherish the lasting love they instill in their children.
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