“Life can be quite challenging, can’t it?” my friend texted me last week.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We had been discussing the possibility of getting together the following weekend, but various commitments like children’s activities and travel plans were complicating things. I miss her presence, and it seems she misses mine too, which only adds to our mutual disappointment. Yes, life can indeed be hard.
This morning, I awoke to a cascade of mishaps: a leaking bathroom sink, a shower door that had come off its hinges, and one dog had made a mess on my son’s piano book. Meanwhile, the other dog, or perhaps the same one, had an accident across the living areas. Our morning spiraled into chaos, with a rushed school drop-off and hasty farewells. All day, I’ve felt a weight in my chest, teetering on the edge of tears—some days are just harder than others.
“Parenting is a struggle,” a friend texted me this afternoon. “I feel like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without any plan.”
“I resonate with that most days,” I replied.
The relentless cycle of questions and doubts often overwhelms me. Are my children getting enough rest? Are we reading enough together? When is it too old for a security blanket and thumb-sucking? Is football a good choice for my son? Should they be involved in more or fewer activities? With every new stage comes another leap into uncertainty, and I frequently feel like I’m falling short. Parenting can be really hard.
The reality is that parenting, friendships, relationships, work—everything can be challenging. Life is often difficult.
I recognize that by openly stating that life is hard, I am wading into complex waters. It’s not a popular sentiment to express. We tend to prefer talking about challenges after we’ve overcome them. We share our stories of struggle only once we’ve emerged from the shadows, celebrating the light after the darkness.
This tendency to narrate our struggles retrospectively is a frustration, especially in creative writing. We often describe our burdens only after they’ve been lifted. We offer praises for having been lost but now being found. But what happens when we are still in the midst of those challenges? When we feel overwhelmed, confused, and lost? Where are the stories that say, “I understand”?
During tough times, when I’m consumed by doubt and fear, I often convince myself of a harmful lie: “You’re alone. No one else can possibly relate.”
Many of life’s most meaningful experiences are challenging. Parenting is undeniably tough. Maintaining a marriage can be tricky, particularly while raising young children. Keeping friendships alive can be inconvenient, especially when distance separates us. Even adulthood can feel like an uphill battle at times.
The most beautiful aspects of life—parenting, marriage, friendships—often come with their share of grit and difficulties. Ignoring these aspects doesn’t do anyone justice. Acknowledging the hard parts doesn’t lessen their beauty or significance. It’s perfectly acceptable to admit that life can feel overwhelming.
I am constantly aware of life’s richness, even on tough days. I express gratitude for my children daily, despite the minefield that parenting can be. I cherish my husband, family, and friends even when our busy lives complicate our connections, and our expressions of love sometimes get lost in translation.
Tonight, I was texting with my friend about meeting up. Living about 1,000 miles apart, coupled with busy schedules, complicates our plans. We both acknowledged that life can be quite challenging and that admitting it can be difficult when we’re in the thick of it. We even discussed planning another girls’ weekend in the future.
“Noodle salad!” I texted, referencing a memorable quote from the film As Good as It Gets. In it, Jack Nicholson’s character reflects on how some people enjoy picturesque lives filled with friends and good food—“good times, noodle salad.” But not everyone shares that experience.
The truth is that life is often a mix of challenges and joys. Sometimes it’s hard, and other times it’s filled with beautiful moments. Perhaps the trick is to create joy even when we feel like we’re stepping off a cliff. Maybe it’s about enjoying the metaphorical noodle salad even when it feels heavy and unsatisfactory, or finding solace in cookie dough and a glass of wine while texting a friend about life’s struggles.
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In summary, life is a tapestry of both challenges and beautiful moments. Acknowledging the hard sometimes enhances our appreciation for the good.
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