5 Insights My Tween Has Shared About Social Media

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I often find myself taken aback by my daughter’s candid remarks about social media, yet I completely understand her perspective. From my vantage point, I see a lovely moment: a father and daughter collaborating on algebra homework, a snapshot of family life I wish to cherish. However, she perceives that moment through a different lens—one of messy hair and old pajamas. While I see nostalgia, she sees embarrassment, highlighting the generational divide in how we view social media.

Recently, I experienced a similar situation when a friend tagged me in an old photo on Facebook. To him, it was a joyous reminder of our youth, but to me, it resurrected painful memories of an unhappy time in my life. I quickly untagged myself, realizing how powerful our online presence can be. This incident made me more aware of how my daughter might feel similarly about her online image.

Now that my daughter, Emma, is 12 and has finally gained permission to create an Instagram account, my approach to social media has evolved significantly. After much pleading (or as she describes it, “an eternity”), I opened her account on her birthday. Although I am cautious about her online interactions, I underestimated how much I would learn from her experiences.

Here are the five lessons I’ve gleaned from Emma regarding social media:

1. Pause Before You Post: Online content is permanent. Before sharing a post or photo, consider whether it’s something you’d want to remain accessible indefinitely. Would you be comfortable if a future employer or family member stumbled upon it? Emma’s presence on social media has encouraged me to reflect on the weight of my own posts.
2. Consider Others’ Feelings: It’s essential to remember that what might seem harmless to you could hurt someone else. Emma and I now discuss the appropriateness of content before posting. Respecting each other’s preferences has become a cornerstone of our interactions, both online and offline. Thankfully, our pets are not part of this digital conversation!
3. Identify Your Circle: My personal Facebook has become a large network of acquaintances. In the past, I accepted friend requests indiscriminately, but now that I manage Emma’s followers, I find myself auditing my own friend list. Establishing boundaries between personal and professional connections is necessary, and I’m streamlining my accounts accordingly.
4. Post with Intent: It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation through likes and shares. I often observe Emma sharing images that resonate with her personally rather than chasing popularity. This has prompted me to focus on authenticity in my posts, recognizing that those that reflect my true self are what truly matter.
5. Live in the Moment: Social media can become an all-consuming distraction. Initially, Emma was glued to her phone, and it made me question my own habits. Was I prioritizing my phone over precious moments with family? While social media has its allure, the people in front of us deserve our full attention.

As I navigate this new terrain of parenting in a digital age, I realize that we’re both learning and growing together. Emma will undoubtedly make mistakes along the way, but her exploration of social media has been a valuable learning experience for me, allowing me to reassess my own online behavior. I find joy in her developing photography skills while simultaneously feeling a twinge of concern over who follows her online.

Parenting blends wonder with concern, particularly as we wade into the world of social media. It’s a delicate balance of amazement and apprehension.

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Summary:

Navigating social media with a tween offers valuable lessons in reflection, respect, and authenticity. As parents, we must adapt our online behaviors while supporting our children’s social exploration.