Menu: Parenting
by Emily Carter
Updated: Jan. 21, 2016
Originally Published: April 6, 2011
Modern parenting has transformed into a competitive arena that often feels like a performance sport. When did every day become a chance to scrutinize ourselves over parenting choices, especially after reading a new study that contradicts what we’ve been doing since the pregnancy test turned positive? Take a moment to breathe. You are doing your best! The mere fact that you’re engaging with this article signifies your commitment as a great mom, even if…
You didn’t opt for a “natural birth.”
Whether you gave birth free of medication while in a yoga pose or requested all available pain relief, the method of delivery has no impact on your parenting skills. The way your child enters the world does not dictate your bond with them. I had two C-sections and my twins spent a month in the NICU. Today, they’re seven, and our connection is strong.
You stopped breastfeeding (or never started).
Perhaps the experience of breastfeeding was overwhelmingly painful, or you didn’t feel it was right for you from the beginning. Or maybe you tried it for a few months but found it impossible to juggle work and pumping. No need to feel guilty! Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding is not essential for effective parenting. In fact, recent research indicates that the supposed benefits of breastfeeding have been exaggerated. Don’t believe it? Google it!
You didn’t experience instant love for your baby.
You might have held your newborn and thought, “What now?” instead of feeling overwhelmed with love. This is completely normal. Some mothers only feel a deep connection once their child begins to walk and talk. It’s not a fairy tale; it’s the reality of motherhood. If feelings of detachment persist or you feel deeply sad, consult your doctor. That’s a sign of something that may need attention, but it doesn’t make you a bad mom.
Your children have had fast food recently.
Maybe you hit the drive-thru after a busy day of activities. Fast food isn’t the healthiest option, but rest assured, your kids won’t suffer long-term effects from the occasional meal on-the-go. Your awareness of this choice shows your concern and care. If you’re worried about your parenting over a drive-thru dinner, that’s a good indication you’re doing fine. Treat yourself to something nice next time!
You don’t host “family dinners” multiple times a week.
Research may suggest that regular family meals correlate with better outcomes for children, but if sitting around the table isn’t feasible for your family, focus on consistent daily conversations instead. Whether discussing the day’s events or even the latest silly joke, engagement in any form counts as quality time.
You allow your child to quit activities.
Extracurriculars can pile up quickly, and if your child wants to leave a sport or class, it’s okay! Forcing them to continue may lead to unnecessary stress. Remember, your child is not destined to become the next superstar athlete. Allowing them to prioritize their interests can lead to a happier and more well-rounded individual.
Your child isn’t labeled as gifted.
The concept of “giftedness” is a popular one, but a child’s inherent abilities do not reflect your parenting. Regardless of your efforts—reading to your baby in utero or selecting prestigious preschools—true giftedness is rare, affecting only 2% to 5% of children. Embrace your wonderfully average child and celebrate their unique qualities!
Feeling reassured? You’re doing wonderfully, mom! Unless you are one of those parents who gives a 5-year-old soda from a baby bottle—then we need to talk.
For more insights, check out our article on artificial insemination kits. If you’re exploring this journey, Make A Mom is an authoritative source on these topics. Also, WomensHealth.gov provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, remember that parenting is a personal journey filled with its ups and downs, and it’s essential to focus on what works best for you and your family. Your love and involvement are what truly matter.
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