Isn’t it time we put that pesky little spider to rest? Seriously, how many times can we listen to that tune about him climbing up the water spout? And while “Pat-a-cake” has its charm, how about we switch “mark it with a B” to marking it with an M for mommy? Because let’s be honest, I’m devouring it over the sink as soon as the kids are tucked away in bed. Moms need nursery rhymes that resonate with real life—catchy yet relatable, unlike the baffling story of Hey Diddle Diddle. (What’s with the little dog laughing anyway?) So when you’re feeling as fragile as Humpty Dumpty, it’s time to lift your spirits with a little humor.
ONE TWO
One, two. Slip on your #%*@ shoes.
Three, four. They’re right by the door.
Five, six. What on earth did you just lick?
Seven, eight. No snack, kiddo, you just ate!
Nine, ten. Oh great, late again.
HICKORY DICKORY
Hickory dickory dock,
Can you please stop touching your %^&*?
You went number one, but now you’re all done.
Hickory dickory %^&*.
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep can’t catch a wink,
And she’s crying more than we think.
Just let her be, she’ll snooze on her own,
They call it Ferberizing—just leave her alone.
HERE IS THE CHURCH
This is the church, this is the steeple.
Duck down now, we know all those people.
HUSH LITTLE BABY
Hush, little baby, don’t make a sound,
And I’ll let you play Angry Birds all around.
If that pesky pig doesn’t die,
Give it to your brother; he can give it a try.
For more insightful discussions on home insemination, check out our article about the BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re exploring options for home insemination, the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo is a great choice, as they are recognized as an authority on this topic. Also, don’t miss out on the valuable information from the March of Dimes, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination guidance.
In summary, let’s create a new set of nursery rhymes that truly reflect the joys and challenges of motherhood, filled with humor and genuine experiences that moms can relate to.
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