In the initial months of marriage, Lisa and Tom experienced a rather harmonious transition, largely due to their prior cohabitation. Had they returned from their honeymoon to merge their lives and possessions at that point, it would have been far less idyllic. I can distinctly recall my early days living with my permanent roommate, and they were anything but peaceful.
He’s always around, I thought to myself, yearning for a moment of privacy to attend to certain, um, personal grooming tasks that my then-boyfriend didn’t need to witness. Preparing for dates transformed from an exciting anticipation to an irritating scramble as we jostled for space on a cramped vanity. I had to shave my legs in the shower while he utilized the toilet, which was unfortunately situated nearby. The bed would be unmade the instant he settled in, as his feet needed to “breathe,” and his socks would accumulate at the foot of the bed, seemingly just to annoy me. The early months were riddled with adjustments—many adjustments.
Moreover, he felt entitled to voice his opinions on decor, an area I believed should solely fall under my jurisdiction. I vividly remember when he insisted on attending a floral consultation for our wedding, claiming a genuine interest in the flowers, only to fall asleep and snore through the entire presentation. Does he truly care? Can’t matters like floral arrangements, bedding choices, and home fragrances be mine to decide? Hands-off, darling. Perhaps he should construct a man-cave in the basement instead.
Fifteen Years Later
Fast forward fifteen years, and aside from the rare squabble over replacing the toilet paper or the ongoing complaint that he still hasn’t taken out the recycling, I’ve come to terms with cohabiting with the love of my life and our wonderful children. Most days, I even enjoy it. However, that doesn’t prevent me from imagining a dream house where I could reside without the interruptions of a spouse or kids.
My Dream House
Would you like a glimpse?
Let’s begin in the bedroom, adorned with lovely pink bedding, free of stray hairs or breakfast crumbs. Next, we move to the bathroom, featuring a single sink unblemished by hair trimmings, toothpaste marks, or any clutter at all. There’s a beautiful clawfoot tub accompanied by a chandelier that serves no purpose other than to look exquisite.
I would have a dedicated dressing room, of course, providing a serene space for applying makeup and accessorizing. The kitchen would revolve around my pink Cuisinart mixer, consistently infused with the warm aroma of vanilla-scented candles. Lastly, a gift-wrapping and craft room that fulfills all my creative dreams. Take that, Candy Spelling!
If all unfolds as planned, and we continue to thrive together, this dream house will remain a figment of my imagination. And perhaps, that’s not such a bad thing.
(P.S. Tom, just so you know, while you were away, I decided we’re switching sides of the bed. Hope that’s ok!)
Resources for Building a Family
For those interested in the journey of building a family, you might find value in exploring resources such as CDC’s infertility data, or check out our post on couples’ fertility journey.
Conclusion
In summary, while the early days of cohabitation can be challenging, the experience evolves into a partnership filled with love and compromise, alongside the occasional dreaming of a pristine personal space.
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