Playdates? Not a fan. If you’re considering inviting my children over for one, I might entertain the idea, but only if you don’t expect me to return the favor. I understand that this viewpoint might not align with current societal norms, so let me clarify.
In my childhood—and likely in yours as well—playdates didn’t exist. If you wanted to engage with someone, you simply went to their house and asked them to join you outside. There was no concept of scheduling or planning; it was purely spontaneous. Kids would gather for games like tag, hide and seek, or even climbing trees. There was no need for parental oversight or elaborate organization.
The rise of the playdate is a symptom of our tendency to over-parent and over-schedule today’s children. Alongside school, kids now face a mountain of homework and a multitude of extracurricular activities. Consequently, playtime has become a carefully planned event, necessitating parental arrangement.
I long for the days when children could just show up at each other’s homes and play freely, ideally outdoors. Sure, a kind parent might offer popsicles to a group of kids, but hosting a meticulously prepared snack was never a requirement. Furthermore, it was unnecessary for parents to socialize simply because their children did. While I want to ensure my kids are safe, I don’t need to form friendships with all of their friends’ parents. Let’s relieve each other of that expectation.
To be frank, I already have my hands full with my own seven children. It’s unlikely you’ll receive an invitation from me to host your kids, as that would require a level of masochism I don’t possess. Even if I had an unexpected urge to organize a playdate, my scattered schedule makes it improbable—I frequently struggle just to remember Scarlett’s diaper changes. Plus, I tend to raise my voice more than I’d like.
It’s much simpler for everyone involved if your kids come over to knock on our door and ask to play outside. However, do not assume that they will be engaged in structured activities, enjoy a homemade organic snack, or return home with a goodie bag. You might even find them picking up a new bad habit or an unexpected word from my kids.
While your children are outside playing, I’ll be inside enjoying a cocktail, grateful for the temporary reprieve from parenting duties.
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In summary, playdates have morphed into a structured necessity in today’s parenting landscape, straying far from the simplicity of childhood interaction. Let’s embrace a more relaxed approach and allow our children to play freely, while we take a well-deserved break.
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