Man Up and Embrace Fatherhood

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Updated: November 21, 2014

Originally Published: October 29, 2011

Throughout my life, I’ve come to realize that timing is crucial. Consider this: if a wealthy uncle surprises you with a luxurious Lexus for your birthday, thanking him promptly will likely leave a positive impression. Conversely, if you wait six months to express gratitude, he might reconsider your inheritance. Similarly, a visit to your favorite bar at 7 PM signals a desire to unwind after work, while a morning visit at 7 AM suggests a deeper issue, perhaps a drinking problem. Timing can drastically alter perceptions.

Recently, I had a conversation with a soon-to-be former associate, Alex, who has no children. He invited me out for drinks after work. I declined, explaining that my wife would be home late, and I needed to care for our daughter. Alex replied condescendingly, “How precious. Are you two going to play dress-up?” When I attempted to elaborate, he cut me off. “I don’t really care what you do. Taking care of your daughter seems like a convenient excuse these days. It’s a woman’s job to raise kids, and you need to learn to man up – not that you’d understand.”

For context, I have a beautiful 16-month-old daughter. If Alex had made similar belittling remarks before she was born, I might have reacted with aggression. However, my daughter has inspired me to rise above and simply walk away. It’s a reminder of how significant timing is.

By the way, I should have pointed out that caring for your own child isn’t babysitting; babysitting is when you pay someone else to watch your kids while you’re away.

As I drove home, I contemplated what “manning up” truly means to me. Does it imply neglecting my responsibilities as a father to socialize with someone I don’t really like? Should I believe that my wife should shoulder all the parenting duties while I lounge on the couch watching sports? That’s not my perspective.

To me, “manning up” encompasses:

1. Supporting My Partner: Regardless of how devoted a father I believe myself to be, my wife often goes above and beyond. I try to ease her load by rubbing her feet after a long day, cooking meals, cleaning the house, filling her car with gas, or simply expressing my love and appreciation for her unwavering efforts.
2. Staying Healthy: There are temptations to indulge in fast food or skip workouts, but I think about my daughter. To truly “man up,” I strive to maintain my health for her sake. I refuse to let her face the heartache of losing a father to preventable health issues.
3. Public Displays of Affection: I’ve noticed that many fathers shy away from affectionate interactions with their children in public unless it’s about discipline. I openly hug, kiss, and play with my daughter wherever we go. I want her to grow up knowing that it’s normal to express love openly.
4. Engaging in Play: There are many fathers who enjoy tea parties and dress-up games with their daughters. While my daughter is still too young for that, I’m always the first to pick out her clothes when we shop. I’ve learned about characters like Hello Kitty and items like jeggings—something I didn’t even know existed until recently. “Manning up” means being present and engaging in whatever activities bring joy to my child.
5. Being a Role Model: Although I have a penchant for swearing, I never do it in front of my daughter. It’s crucial to set a positive example. Simple words like “please” and “thank you” are essential, and I encourage her to use them. Just the other day, she looked up at me and said “tank ew.” Moments like these remind me of the importance of leading by example.
6. Persevering Through Challenges: There are days when my daughter can be challenging, and I question my parenting abilities. However, I know that my love for her is unwavering, and I strive to be the best father I can, despite the difficulties. Parenting is undoubtedly the hardest yet most rewarding journey I’ve embarked upon.
7. Caring Deeply: My commitment to my family means prioritizing their happiness and well-being above all else. The joy I experience from a day spent with my daughter far outweighs any fleeting pleasure from socializing. I’m dedicated to nurturing her health, education, and safety, ensuring she lives her best life, even if it means disappointing those who view parenting as a woman’s role.

To my misguided friend Alex: my daughter is my world. If you’re reading this, know that “manning up” means embracing responsibility and love, not belittling the efforts of devoted parents. If you can’t grasp that concept, remember that there are many who will stand up for what’s right.

For those interested in exploring home insemination options, resources like CDC’s guide on infertility provide invaluable information. And if you’re curious about home insemination kits, check out Cryobaby’s Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo or their At-Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit for more options.

In conclusion, “manning up” is about embracing the challenges and joys of fatherhood, prioritizing family, and setting a positive example for future generations.