Certain pivotal moments remain imprinted in our minds: the catastrophic event of January 28, 1986, when the space shuttle Challenger tragically exploded; the unforgettable first kiss during a crisp fall evening in 1987; the historic election of our first African American President on November 4, 2008; and a summer afternoon in 1995 when I came to the realization that my father was nothing more than an ordinary human being.
While the timing of this realization varies for each individual, the emotions that accompany it—shock, disappointment, confusion, and even resentment—are universally shared. It is a jarring experience when we suddenly understand that our parents, who once seemed invincible, are simply people navigating the complexities of life, just like everyone else.
From the moment we enter this world, our parents become our entire universe. They nurture us, fulfill our needs, and embody the characteristics of superheroes. Their ability to answer our endless inquiries and manage the daily demands of life leaves us in awe. However, when these seemingly exalted figures come tumbling down from their pedestals, it can be disheartening.
Upon realizing my father’s humanity, I felt a deep sense of bitterness. I had always believed he could accomplish anything and would never let me down. This revelation left me feeling cheated and resentful. Yet, as I matured and became a parent myself, my perspective shifted; I came to appreciate that no one is truly prepared for the challenges of parenthood. The myriad of parenting books and anecdotes from friends offer little preparation for the reality—parenthood is messy, exhausting, and we remain the same individuals we were before our children arrived. The personal baggage we carry does not vanish simply because we become parents.
In my role as a single mother, I strive to maintain transparency with my children. Perhaps it is my circumstance that leaves little room for pretense, or maybe it is my desire to soften the blow of inevitable disappointments. I want them to see me as I am, recognizing that the more they understand my flaws, the less daunting my imperfections will seem to them.
I am a friend, sister, daughter, partner, writer, and enthusiast of yoga and running. I cherish laughter, indulge in good food, and relish lazy weekends. My interests include baking, organizing, and diving into creative projects. I can become irritable when hungry or when my partner is late, and I have a low tolerance for noisy children. I have dreams yet to be fulfilled and adventures still to embark upon. Above all, being their mother is my utmost joy.
While “mom” is my favorite title, at the end of the day, I am simply a person—a person with two kids. The sooner my children grasp this reality, the better prepared they will be.
For further insights on these topics, you may find helpful information at Kindbody’s blog and explore additional resources such as the at-home insemination kit for those considering parenting paths.
Summary:
The journey of parenthood can be filled with unexpected realizations about our own parents and ourselves. As we grow, we come to understand that our parents are not infallible beings but rather ordinary individuals with their own struggles. Embracing this truth can foster deeper connections and compassion within the family unit.
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