I recently encountered a familiar face at my child’s school. As we hurried past each other in the hallway, she remarked, “I heard your book will be released soon—how exciting!”
“Absolutely!” was what she likely anticipated. “I’m thrilled!” As we headed toward the parking lot, it seemed the natural response. After all, who wouldn’t be excited about an impending book launch? It’s akin to asking someone how they are and expecting a standard reply of “good.”
However, for this acquaintance, I tend to overshare—sometimes a little too much.
“Excited? Well, I wouldn’t exactly use that word,” I replied, dropping my bag on the floor. “Actually,” I exhaled, “I’m kind of freaking out.”
“What if my book doesn’t sell? I invested so much effort into this project—what if people can’t relate? What if no one spreads the word? What if critics shred it to pieces? What if my publisher is disappointed with the sales figures? What if I embarrass myself while promoting it? What if I suffer from stage fright at a reading?”
I paused to catch my breath. “I know, I know—it’s amazing just to have finished a book. I should appreciate that and enjoy the journey. Who cares if it flops? I’ll be fine, right? But still, I can’t seem to enjoy it. I don’t know why.”
Leaning against the wall for support, I continued, “I guess I am excited, but there are so many other feelings swirling around. This kind of pressure is unfamiliar to me. I’m not used to being held accountable in this way, and it’s daunting. I mean—”
“Oh! Just a moment,” my acquaintance interrupted as she fumbled for her silent phone. “I think I heard it ring, and it must be important. Oh, yes, very important. Good luck!”
With that, she dashed away without a backward glance, likely whispering about an imaginary crisis to escape the conversation with what must have seemed like a rather frazzled individual. I haven’t seen her since, and I suspect she may have changed preschools to avoid another encounter. I can’t say I blame her.
The Takeaway
The takeaway? If you’re curious about my feelings regarding the book, be prepared for a more candid response than you might expect. And trust me—you really don’t want to know.
For those navigating similar experiences, it may be beneficial to explore resources regarding home insemination, such as the insights shared at Make A Mom or the comprehensive information available at Womens Health.
Conclusion
In summary, while I am excited about my book release, the anxiety and pressure of it all can be overwhelming. It’s a complex emotional landscape, and sometimes, the journey can feel just as daunting as the destination.
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