For the past two years, I have been immersed in physical therapy, and I attribute much of my condition to the demands of motherhood. It’s a stark contrast to what I once thought, years ago, when I watched a makeover show featuring a woman lamenting her transformation post-children. At the time, I found her admission of “letting herself go” to be rather disheartening. Fast forward seven years and two children later, and I find myself echoing those sentiments.
“Letting yourself go” transcends mere physical appearance; it speaks to an overall neglect of self-care, both physically and emotionally. I’ve grappled with feelings of disappearing into the background of my family’s life. Though I cherish every moment of being a mother, I’ve often felt like I’ve sacrificed my own well-being for the sake of my children.
Through my experiences in physical therapy, I’ve learned how interconnected our bodies are. One issue leads to another, creating a cascade of discomfort: an injured knee weakens my quadriceps, which causes my kneecap to misalign, making stairs a painful challenge. This has led to compensatory strain on my hips, tight IT bands, and misaligned shoulders. Ultimately, my overall posture has suffered, leaving me with a sway-back stance reminiscent of an aging horse.
Physical therapy has been an eye-opener, revealing the myriad ways my body has been misused. I discovered that I was standing, walking, and balancing incorrectly. This realization was both enlightening and deeply frustrating. I found myself questioning why this was happening and who was responsible for my body’s deterioration. While I understand my injuries stem from a skiing accident, it’s far more convenient to direct my frustration toward my children, who are a constant reminder of my physical struggles.
Alongside these physical challenges, I began to experience anxiety, which coincided with the arrival of my second child. I found myself facing an unexpected eye condition, teeth grinding, and relentless fatigue. My children didn’t solely cause these issues, but they certainly added immense pressure to an already strained situation. Eventually, I reached a breaking point where I could no longer care for my family without first caring for myself. I had to stop waiting for someone to intervene, much like Mariah Carey’s publicist canceling a world tour due to exhaustion.
Despite feeling like I was on the same trajectory as my elderly neighbor, I came to appreciate the simple act of being upright. I assembled a team of professionals to help me: a skilled massage therapist for my hip, a compassionate psychotherapist for my mind, and a knowledgeable Pilates instructor to help my overall physical health. I also secured reliable childcare to ensure I could attend my appointments.
I learned to embrace the simplest movements and accepted the possibility that I may never run again or fully correct my posture. I had to come to terms with the idea that my body is what it is, as my physical therapist reminded me. This acceptance prompted me to stop carrying my three-year-old every time he requested it, take more naps, and engage in exercises that would strengthen my body. The fear of not being able to keep up with my boys was a powerful motivator.
Most importantly, I realized that being a mother doesn’t mean being a martyr. Making time for myself does not detract from my children but helps me be a better parent. Now that I’ve completed my physical therapy, my shoulders are back in alignment, and I can often navigate stairs without pain. However, leaving therapy was daunting. Would I be able to maintain my progress independently?
Fortunately, I discovered that I can manage my well-being solo, but not without support. My family—my husband and my children—have played an integral role in my healing, reassembling me with love and humor. Motherhood may have tested my limits, but it has also been a source of healing and strength.
For those interested in navigating the journey of motherhood and health, exploring resources like Progyny can be incredibly beneficial. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, check out the BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit and CryoBaby at Home Insemination Kit for comprehensive guidance.
In summary, my journey through motherhood has been one of physical challenges and personal growth. Embracing the importance of self-care has allowed me to reclaim my health and be present for my family.
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