5 Reasons Moms Should Think Twice Before Taking Sex Advice from Magazines

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Many parenting magazines feature articles aimed at moms, promising to enhance their intimate lives with catchy titles like “How to Ignite Your Passion” or “10 Tips for Spicing Up Your Marriage.” While these headlines may sound enticing, it’s time to get real about the challenges of maintaining a vibrant sex life post-baby. Here are five reasons why these tips may not resonate with the realities of motherhood:

1. Foreplay Isn’t Always Feasible
   Mom’s Perspective: Seriously? With my to-do list, the last thing I need is another item to juggle. Between catching up on my favorite shows and ensuring the kids are fed, the idea of adding “foreplay” to my routine feels unrealistic. My husband’s idea of foreplay is brushing his teeth, and honestly, I’m grateful for that small mercy.
2. Setting the Mood
   Brutal Truth: Are we still lighting candles and pouring massage oils? Let’s be honest—if the room smells decent and I’m not wearing a ratty shirt, we’re in good shape. A dimmed light and a bit of ambiance from the TV can do wonders. And as for massages, if picking crumbs off my body counts, I guess I’m getting one after all.
3. Weekly Date Nights
   Reality Check: While the concept of a weekly date night sounds lovely, it relies on the perfect storm of availability: no sick kids, a grandparent who can babysit, and both parents not being too exhausted from the week. Most of our conversations would likely revolve around the children anyway, so it’s a bit of a stretch.
4. Timing Intimacy Around Naptime
   Snarky Realism: The pressure of time constraints during intimate moments is the last thing a mom wants. The advice to “time your trysts” around naps assumes we can actually relax with a clock ticking in the background—it’s a fantasy. Just like the concept of “sleep when the baby sleeps,” it’s easier said than done.
5. Morning Intimacy
   Candid Response: Who thinks an entire hour is necessary for morning intimacy? I’d prefer to hit the snooze button multiple times instead! The only thing I want to do in the morning is sleep, not schedule a rendezvous.

So, dear moms, toss those glossy magazine tips and focus on what truly matters—quality over quantity. Keep it real, and make sure you’re enjoying the time together enough to avoid those awkward couples therapy sessions.

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Summary

Moms should approach sex advice from magazines with skepticism, as these tips often fail to consider the realities of motherhood. From the impracticality of foreplay to the challenge of scheduling date nights, it’s essential to find intimacy in a way that works for your family. Prioritize connection over unrealistic expectations.