Reflecting on my teenage years, if someone had suggested that I would be a stay-at-home mom to six children, I would have laughed incredulously. Back then, I was engrossed in the works of Jack Kerouac and the sounds of R.E.M., convinced that I would never don the proverbial apron of domesticity. I would have dismissed the idea of being a mother, especially at 41, expecting my seventh child, and finding joy in mundane tasks like making lunches and styling hair. My aspirations were grand: joining the Peace Corps, working at the CDC, and possibly becoming a parent without the constraints of marriage, while keeping chickens and goats. Little did I know, life would take me on a different path, one that I now cherish.
Despite the dramatic shifts in my life, remnants of my younger self persist. Here are seven ways that I still embody my 17-year-old spirit:
- A Love for Reading: While my reading time has diminished significantly, I still savor the experience of diving into books. However, the completion time has stretched to nearly a year. I prefer literature without cartoonish covers, and my bedside stack of unread books serves as a reminder of my literary aspirations.
- Music Preferences: My music tastes may not align with my children’s, but I still enjoy discovering new sounds. Bands like Neko Case and Wilco might not resonate with them, leading me to learn the lyrics of current Top 40 hits—much to my chagrin. However, Ed Sheeran’s charm keeps him in my musical rotation.
- Fashion Awareness: I remain conscious of fashion trends—not because I intend to wear them, but to protect my children from questionable choices. It’s imperative to stay informed so I can firmly say “no” to bizarre styles.
- Desire for Adventure: In my youth, I sought out concert tours and the chance to meet bands. Now, my adventures manifest in the form of a 12-passenger van, transporting my family. While our “tour bus” lacks musicians, it is filled with my children, and any “substances” involved are likely just my Xanax for long trips.
- Value of Solitude: At 17, I cherished my alone time for deep reflection. Nowadays, quiet moments are rare, often filled with mundane tasks. However, I still relish the chance to read a few chapters of those stacked books, hoping to finish one someday.
- Enduring Love: I am still enamored with my first love, who has grown into a wonderful partner and father. Our shared journey may not align with my teenage dreams of farm animals, but our love story remains a cherished constant.
- Unintentional Smoke: While my teenage self might have indulged in smoking, my current smoke encounters are purely accidental—like when dinner gets overcooked, setting off the smoke alarm, a situation my kids have grown accustomed to.
My younger self could not have imagined the importance of ingredient labels or the satisfaction of getting laundry done before it mildews. She would have overlooked the simple pleasures of uninterrupted sleep and the joy of a coffee that doesn’t require reheating. Life has a way of surprising us, leading to unexpected happiness in the most ordinary situations.
In retrospect, the artistic girl I once was had no clue about the profound joy and challenges that lay ahead. Life is about setting sail into the unknown, embracing unexpected changes, and welcoming the ebb and flow of experiences.
To my 17-year-old self: I now proudly wear the apron of domesticity, and I’m thriving in it.
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Summary
This article explores the ways in which the author still embodies her 17-year-old self, despite the many changes life has brought. From a love of reading and music to a desire for solitude and adventure, these traits continue to shape her identity as a mother and individual. The journey of life reveals unexpected joys and profound happiness in the ordinary.
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